If You Only Knew

This is how I spent my morning. He woke me at 5:30 this morning and I spent the next few hours in bed video chatting. Sometimes he'd look at me funny and ask me what I was doing and I'd say, "just laying here, looking at your face and listening to your voice..." and then he'd just smile and say "I love you". I miss my best friend. As I was listening to him talk, the slow realization started to sink in and my heart began to drop. He was there. And I am here. This sucks. I laid there for about 10 minutes, mesmerized by his tone and this feeling just began to overwhelm me. I didn't cry or get upset. Almost six months he's been gone and for whatever reason, it just now hit me. It became very real. He was "supposed" to be home in two weeks for his R&R. He asked me not to tell anyone and I didn't. He wanted it to be a surprise. We got word a week ago that it was bumped. So now we just sit patiently and wait for the opportunity to aris...

I chose to go through this deployment. I knew about it before I'd met Matt. I chose to love him completely and unconditionally, knowing that he'd have to leave me and our family behind. I try daily to stay positive but some days, it's a real struggle. One thing I do know is that this deployment has only made us stronger in many ways. We've always had great communication and it's gotten even better. We take absolutely nothing for granted. Every single second I get to hear his voice is priceless to me. I can't wait for my husband to come home but I will wait and be even stronger for it. I have found strength beyond what I knew existed in me. I've also found out who truly supports me through difficult times. Many people before this deployment were quick to say, "I'll be there" and later, when put to the test, came to fail. The most difficult moments for me, are ones people take for granted in their day to day lives. Cooking for him, doing his ...

This image inspired me today, in more ways than one. Look at the smile on that kid's face. Priceless. The weather matched my mood. As the day went on, my mood got worse and worse until I realized if I didn't get out of the house, I was gonna blow. So, I decided it was time to run it out. I scooped up the kids and headed to Village Green in Millbrook. The kids went off to play in the park and I started my first lap. I usually try to walk the first quarter mile to warm my legs up. I've battled with shin splits since I started in the gym five months ago. It's rather frustrating when your mind says one thing and your body screams another. Yet, I don't give up; I keep pushing and pushing because I know that I can do this. I got started running my second lap and made it about half way through when my legs started hurting. This happened on and off for the remaining mile and a half. By mile and a quarter, I'd decided I was going to quit and call it a day but s...