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and so...I just ran

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This image inspired me today, in more ways than one. Look at the smile on that kid's face. Priceless.

The weather matched my mood. As the day went on, my mood got worse and worse until I realized if I didn't get out of the house, I was gonna blow. So, I decided it was time to run it out. I scooped up the kids and headed to Village Green in Millbrook. The kids went off to play in the park and I started my first lap. I usually try to walk the first quarter mile to warm my legs up. I've battled with shin splits since I started in the gym five months ago. It's rather frustrating when your mind says one thing and your body screams another. Yet, I don't give up; I keep pushing and pushing because I know that I can do this.


I got started running my second lap and made it about half way through when my legs started hurting. This happened on and off for the remaining mile and a half. By mile and a quarter, I'd decided I was going to quit and call it a day but something kept pushing me to go. As I got ready to start my 7th lap, I noticed a red-headed kid in an odd looking wheelchair at the water fountain. We was trying to maneuver his leg out of the chair so he could push the peddle and get water into his bottle. As another runner passed by me, I decided to stop and offer some assistance. I asked if he needed some help and he sorta looked at me like he was scared to say anything. I stood there for a few seconds and tilted my head so I could make eye contact with him and he almost looked embarrassed. He asked if I knew how to turn the fountain on. So I walked over and investigated and saw a pedal at the bottom but it wasn't working too well. I decided to push the pedal up with my foot and compress the lever beneath it. This took quite a bit of doing and I knew his foot didn't have the strength to do it. So I pushed the lever and he laughed and told me to duck because we could hear the water coming up through the pipe. Luckily I moved my head just in time as the water shot out and over the side of the fountain. He got his water and thanked me and I went on my way.

For whatever reason, I decided to give it another try and started running. But it was different this time. It felt different. It's hard to describe how it felt in that moment but I took on a different running form to where I felt no pain in my body at all. And so I kept running. I kept thinking to myself, "At any minute, I'm going to have to stop." To my surprise, I was able to keep going. So I thought, "Ok, let's see what I can do". Those are the words I tell myself every single morning I wake up. I finished my first lap and became a little overwhelmed. So I said, "what the heck, let's keep going". And I did. I got about half way through my second lap and thought, "I can't believe I'm still going. Should I stop?" I honestly could not have stopped if I wanted to. It felt good and right. I just couldn't stop. I'd made it around to finish my lap and decided I shouldn't push my luck and picked up a quick walking pace. My eyes teared up and I became so overwhelmed with emotion. Pride, accomplishment and amazement. I had just ran two laps, nonstop. Half a mile. I only started really running 2-3 weeks ago. This was a really big deal to me. I walked out my last lap with a million thoughts going through my head and so much joy in my heart.

Some people might read this and think, "Eh, no big deal." To me, it's a big deal. Six months ago, I weighted 250 lbs and probably smoked a pack every two days, give or take. I was not exercising and I certainly wasn't eating right. Now, here I am, having lost over 50 lbs, dropped five dress sizes, smoke free for going on six weeks and healthier now than I was when I was in my 20s. I'd say that's a very big deal.

Thank you to my amazing coach, Kym Klass and my incredibly wonderful husband, Matt for your love, your support and your encouragement. You push me to do things I never imagined were possible. Also, thank you to all of my friends, especially, Tonya, Tonie and Christina for never giving up on me. I never would have made it this far without your every day encouragement and love.

Bring on October 1st! I'm ready to run!
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