If You Only Knew

Sometimes it's like watching my life through a movie. Sitting here, even after two years, I still ask myself, "is this real?" Yeah, I'm sure some people are rolling their eyes and most won't even finish reading this. So what. You'd have to truly understand what my previous marriage was like in order to fully comprehend why I'm in such awe of the man who chose me to be his bride today. He opens doors for me. He kisses me good night every single night. At any given moment, he just has to reach out and touch me. I think he does it to make sure I'm still there. I love the way he smiles at me. Or when I'm in the kitchen and he walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me to kiss me neck. I've only seen this kinda stuff in movie. Fortunately for me, it's my life. I never take a second of it for granted. I love the way he makes me laugh. We're like two kids playing together. We were in the walmart parking lot the other day when all th...

A few days ago, I wrote a blog post. A very deep and personal blog post. I debated on whether I should publish it. After sharing it with a few people closest to me in life, I made the decision not to make it public. It was one of those moments where I needed to get my feelings on paper. Having read it days later and listening to my friends, I realized it was a very angry blog. It was about my mother. Anyone that knows me, knows that it's been an ongoing battle as far back as I can remember. Unfortunately, it's one that I have lost. Last year, I made the difficult decision to invite her back into my life. What made it so difficult? I didn't even discuss it with my husband before I made the decision. I was afraid he'd talk me out of it and I needed this courage. See, Matt was coming home for four days before he went off to Iraq. Now, don't think for a single moment that I did not believe my husband wasn't coming back to me. BUT...you just don't play with f...