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great faith

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This week has been a struggle. I've sat and prayed and tried to look through the storm clouds and see the blessing in all this and believe it or not, I've managed to do so.

Matt left a week ago today for Annual Training. It's almost like basic all over again for him. Three weeks in the cold, bitter weather, learning maneuvers and tactics that he'll need while he's deployed. I've done my best not to have a pity party because I miss him so much. I know it's hard for him. The first night, he was sleeping in a tent outside in 18 degree weather in North Alabama. Now those of you from the South know we are NOT used to that type of weather. So my first worry, of course, was of him staying warm. I don't always understand the ways of military thinking but who am I to question them, right?

He calls me at least once a day and tells me of his days of crawling through mud and battling Mother Nature's brutal conditions. He doesn't get to shower for 2-3 days, he has to use Porta-potties and eat MRE's. (for us civilians, that's meals ready to eat. They come in these little green package...kinda gross really) I believe they get one warm meal a day. Thinking about all this, I realize the many small things we take for granted in life. How easy it is for us to just get up, fix a cup of coffee, jump in a nice, hot shower and come and go as we please.

Monday most of the state shut down due to a winter storm. Again, Southerns don't deal with this type of weather well. Icy roads, snow...not your typical winter down here. I was very much looking forward to going back to work. Idol time does terrible things. I started missing him terribly. I prayed while sitting on the front porch for God to take my mind off things, get me back to work so I could keep myself busy long enough for him to come home to me without losing what little bit of sanity I have. One day turned into an entire week.

Monday night, I started having small dizzy spells. Which them turned into something much worse that landed me in the ER at 10pm. The rest of my week turned into a nightmare. I'm sure most of you have had a few too many to drink once in awhile. This felt like a week long horrible drunk venture. I couldn't walk without almost falling over. I was one big mess. When my mind finally started to refocus from all this, I realized something. A week had passed by. Huh. Guess maybe it is possible to find blessings in a storm.

I can't say I've enjoyed being off work this week. I can think of better things I would have rather been doing. But this episode did make time go by a lil faster and it took my mind of him just not being here. It was frustrating to say the least and there was a day about midway through all this where I desperately wanted him home. This episode was scary for me and I didn't fully understand what was going on and him being by my side gives me great comfort. But God also revealed a few things to me that I've taken to heart.

I have some pretty incredible friends. Now let me first start by saying, I'm a prideful, independent woman. I do not like asking for help. Since Matt was gone, I had no other choice but to ask. I guess this was God's wake up call for me. It's ok to ask for help and my pride shouldn't stop that. But I also realize that when Matt's not here, I have other people in my life that I can lean on. First and foremost, God. He gave me the opportunity to learn a lot of lessons this week. I have a great many people in my life who are there for me when I need them and that's always been important to me. I've always been afraid to depend on others because I've been let down a lot. God put those people in my life for this very reason.

I won't say it's been a great week but I will say that it's been a God experience. It's taught me that even in the worse of times, great life changes can be made if you can look past the dark clouds. But I have faith that no matter the circumstance, He will see me through them til the end.

In life, let every circumstance be a lesson; seek out what God is trying to show you. Whether the situation is good or bad, use it at a stepping stone.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (thanks Lynn!)


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