I wish I could say "happy" new year but I'm not sure how happy it's going to be.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy! Joyful! How could I not be?! I've been blessed beyond measure! I'm getting married to my soulmate next month!! I have four amazing kids in my life. What could possibly be any better??
I have a sadness lingering and it's hard to shake. Matt will be leaving in April for Iraq for a year. That's a hard, bitter pill to swallow. It's hard to imagine him not being here with me...
For the most part, I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have enough to keep me busy between work, school, sending care packages and what not. But since I've been with him, I've learned two things. Matt travels a lot with his career. It's part of being a soldier. The day he leaves is always the hardest and the nights he's not there are even harder. Going to bed alone sucks...not to get too personal; but I used to be a girl who couldn't be touched when I went to sleep at night. Now, I go to bed wrapped up in his arms every single night. In fact, I won't go to sleep unless I have some kind of contact with him. I'm not sure how this is going to work.
He leaves this Friday for three weeks. In a way, I want them to pass quickly but part of me wants these next four months to pass slowly. I want to enjoy every single moment he's here. I have three short months left before he's gone...and then what?
I know this is hard for him too. Being away from family and friends...and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that he's missed and loved. Lotsa prayers for a safe return and I know that God will bring him back to me. I know this and I believe it with all of my heart. He's been deployed before and I'm sure it never gets easier. If I had to put myself in his shoes...I think it would be just as hard, not seeing those you love for a whole year. Gosh...it makes me feel guilty for being so selfish.
Pray for him and those in his unit. Pray for me too.
Happy New Year
Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy! Joyful! How could I not be?! I've been blessed beyond measure! I'm getting married to my soulmate next month!! I have four amazing kids in my life. What could possibly be any better??
I have a sadness lingering and it's hard to shake. Matt will be leaving in April for Iraq for a year. That's a hard, bitter pill to swallow. It's hard to imagine him not being here with me...
For the most part, I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have enough to keep me busy between work, school, sending care packages and what not. But since I've been with him, I've learned two things. Matt travels a lot with his career. It's part of being a soldier. The day he leaves is always the hardest and the nights he's not there are even harder. Going to bed alone sucks...not to get too personal; but I used to be a girl who couldn't be touched when I went to sleep at night. Now, I go to bed wrapped up in his arms every single night. In fact, I won't go to sleep unless I have some kind of contact with him. I'm not sure how this is going to work.
He leaves this Friday for three weeks. In a way, I want them to pass quickly but part of me wants these next four months to pass slowly. I want to enjoy every single moment he's here. I have three short months left before he's gone...and then what?
I know this is hard for him too. Being away from family and friends...and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that he's missed and loved. Lotsa prayers for a safe return and I know that God will bring him back to me. I know this and I believe it with all of my heart. He's been deployed before and I'm sure it never gets easier. If I had to put myself in his shoes...I think it would be just as hard, not seeing those you love for a whole year. Gosh...it makes me feel guilty for being so selfish.
Pray for him and those in his unit. Pray for me too.
Happy New Year
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