Skip to main content

New Year

Image
By
I wish I could say "happy" new year but I'm not sure how happy it's going to be.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy! Joyful! How could I not be?! I've been blessed beyond measure! I'm getting married to my soulmate next month!! I have four amazing kids in my life. What could possibly be any better??

I have a sadness lingering and it's hard to shake. Matt will be leaving in April for Iraq for a year. That's a hard, bitter pill to swallow. It's hard to imagine him not being here with me...
For the most part, I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have enough to keep me busy between work, school, sending care packages and what not. But since I've been with him, I've learned two things. Matt travels a lot with his career. It's part of being a soldier. The day he leaves is always the hardest and the nights he's not there are even harder. Going to bed alone sucks...not to get too personal; but I used to be a girl who couldn't be touched when I went to sleep at night. Now, I go to bed wrapped up in his arms every single night. In fact, I won't go to sleep unless I have some kind of contact with him. I'm not sure how this is going to work.

He leaves this Friday for three weeks. In a way, I want them to pass quickly but part of me wants these next four months to pass slowly. I want to enjoy every single moment he's here. I have three short months left before he's gone...and then what?

I know this is hard for him too. Being away from family and friends...and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that he's missed and loved. Lotsa prayers for a safe return and I know that God will bring him back to me. I know this and I believe it with all of my heart. He's been deployed before and I'm sure it never gets easier. If I had to put myself in his shoes...I think it would be just as hard, not seeing those you love for a whole year. Gosh...it makes me feel guilty for being so selfish.

Pray for him and those in his unit. Pray for me too.

Happy New Year

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

every day

By
Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...
Post a Comment
Read more

surrender

By
I spent a better part of my life worrying over events of the past that I had absolutely no control over. Because that's who I was. Or at least that's who I defined myself as. A control freak. At age 32, it took that span of my life to realize I cannot control what other people do. Or how they react to situations. Or how they treat you as a person. I once saw a quote that stated, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours". It clicked with me. Revelations come to me at the most unusual times. Yesterday was one of those times. I was driving home from school and all of a sudden, the thought of my mother popped in my head. For so long, I was jealous of other women and girls who had such wonderful mother/daughter relationships. I wanted that so badly for myself but was never able to get there. And as I struggled to get through this week, I couldn't help be think "anyone else's mom would be comforting and supportive." I haven't hea...
1 comment
Read more

a real love story

By
I am going to tell you a story. It is a story of love, surrender and peace. There is a hero in the end. But there usually is, right? Right. Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us. I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. ...
3 comments
Read more