Skip to main content

life goes on

Image
By
Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Understatement of the year. And my biggest blessing.

It's been almost five months now. Summer flew by and I'm so thankful it did. I'd never wish away my life but I'd be all too happy for the next seven months to disappear by tomorrow morning.

While most days are better, I did worry for awhile. My bad days were beginning to outweigh the good. I was very excited when school started, then marching band started and now I'm constantly busy and on the go. It truly is a blessing.

It's also been six months since I married my best friend. It seems like yesterday we were just in Vegas saying I do. It made my heart a lil sad when I realized we've spent more time apart as husband and wife, than we have together. I keep telling myself it's only temporary and that he'll be home soon but some times it's just not enough. Night time is still hardest. I've found that I wait until I'm absolutely exhausted before I go to bed so that when my head touches the pillow, I'm not left wishing and praying he'd be there next to me when I wake up. As soon as I awake, I'm outta bed before I can blink. I just cannot stand it ...I don't sleep all night. I normally, on a good night, wake up anywhere from 3-4 times. Some nights I just don't sleep.

It's not all been bad. Truly it hasn't. But I still can't help but feel as though he took a huge piece of me with him when he left. I'll only feel whole again when he's back home where he belongs.

All the kids are doing well. My two keep me on my toes and going all the time. I continually check on the younger ones up with their mom. I was very blessed and fortunate to have them with me for two weeks this summer. While I enjoyed having them home with me, it sort of made me sad. I felt like I had a small piece of him with me but having them there made me miss him even more. It's hard to explain.

This much I do know...deployments sucks ass. But life goes on. It has to.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

courage

By
My life really only started when I turned 30. Sure, that sounds crazy. But there is a significant difference in “life” and actual living. It is having the courage to walk away from something so painful and so toxic. It is having faith that no matter what foot you step out on, God is going to be in step with you. It is taking that first deep breath, exhaling all the negative and nastiness in your life and going forward, reassuring yourself you will never have to look back. And I didn’t. I have this tattoo on my shoulder. I put it there so I’d see it all the time. It’s a constant reminder to me. It says “courage is fear that has said it’s prayers”. I don’t remember how I came across it but it was not long after my brain surgery. That one quote means everything to me. The course of events that has taken place in my life over the last seven years has been nothing short of a miracle. February 17th is an important day to me and one I will remember like my birthday or my anniversar...
Post a Comment
Read more

every day

By
Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...
Post a Comment
Read more

surrender

By
I spent a better part of my life worrying over events of the past that I had absolutely no control over. Because that's who I was. Or at least that's who I defined myself as. A control freak. At age 32, it took that span of my life to realize I cannot control what other people do. Or how they react to situations. Or how they treat you as a person. I once saw a quote that stated, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours". It clicked with me. Revelations come to me at the most unusual times. Yesterday was one of those times. I was driving home from school and all of a sudden, the thought of my mother popped in my head. For so long, I was jealous of other women and girls who had such wonderful mother/daughter relationships. I wanted that so badly for myself but was never able to get there. And as I struggled to get through this week, I couldn't help be think "anyone else's mom would be comforting and supportive." I haven't hea...
1 comment
Read more