If You Only Knew

I debated on whether I’d come up for air long enough to even type this but since I am taking Kenzie to soccer practice shortly, I’ll use my time wisely. I feel like I’ve spent the last hour accomplishing nothing and that bothers me some. Trying to find “techniques” for studying and memorizing and what will work to remember everything I have to remember in no small feat and it’s rather frustrating. Everyone wants to tell me how to study or what works best for them. Considering that I bombed my first test of the semester, I figured what I was doing wasn’t working and that I’d do well to find something that did work and quickly. I’m just not sure what that is but with the advice of a friend, I think I might be able to get there. I knew Nursing school would be tough. But I really didn’t KNOW. Man. Yeah, I get that it’s supposed to be that way. You want your nurse to know her shit so that when she comes at you with this long needle, you know you are getting exactly what you are suppose...

This post came courtesy of a blog that I've been following for the last few weeks. This man is phenomenal when it comes to life lessons. No lie. I have oodles of respect for him. I'm going to back track for a moment. I was 17. I had no clue what it meant to raise another human being. Hell, I hadn't even given any thought to whether I wanted to have kids when I grew up. But at this point in life, I really didn't have any choice. Here I was, staring down at this beautiful, scary nine pound baby boy and I was terrified that I'd somehow ruin his life. From there, I proceeded into a miserable, horrifying marriage that turned me into someone I did not want to be. I had all the excuses in the world to stay but I lived in too much fear to leave. After 13 years, I found My Brave. (Thanks DDW..he found his Happy.) Fast forward to age 29. Divorced, free and still unhappy. Why? Because at this point in my life, I had no idea where I was going, how I was planning to get the...

Last night, I glanced over my shoulder and smiled to the sound of video games resounding from the TV as it mixed in with my classical music. Matt looked up and said, "I love you" then returned his attention to his game. I turned my attention back to my Med Term book and felt that warm fuzzy feeling inside bubble up. This is one of the many reasons he's my best friend. He doesn't like for me to sit alone in our bedroom while I study and for as long as I've been in school, it's been this way. I'll come into our room either to do homework or peruse over the lesson for the next day. I’ll sit for maybe 10-15 minutes and before long, he’s wrapped up in bed with his Xbox controller to keep me company. Every now and again, I’ll read something out loud or say “did you know…?” and he’ll turn his attention towards me long enough to let me finish and then go back to his game. Whether he retains that info or not makes no difference to me. He’s there and that’s the ...

1. I burp. A lot. Sometimes in public. 2. I do NOT like attention being drawn to me. At all. Despite popular belief. Ask Matt. I will flip the freak out. 3. I love Disney movies. Right now my favorite is The Emperor’s New Groove. Uh huh. Look at me and my bad self. 4. I cry too much. 5. I'm terrified of doing aerobics in public. Read #2. 6. I’m finding that the older I get, the less compassion I seem to have. I have yet to determine if this is good or bad. 7. I’m not a fan of politics and sometimes I don’t understand it. What I don’t like is my money being taken from me for no good reason. It’s that simple. 8. I LOVE my kids. I hate everyone else’s. Well…most of them anyway. 9. My favorite place to be in the whole world is curled up in bed with my husband. 10. Sometimes I wish I could go back to 16 year old me. I’d tell her life does get better. 11. I do not like big crowds. 12. Some days, I’m perfectly content being left alone. 13. I am terrified o...

You wanna know the great thing about my life? Happiness. Yep. Probably the one thing most people take for granted. Until you grasp the idea that you’ve spent a large majority of your life unhappy. There is not one single circumstance about my life at this very moment that does not make me happy. Sure, we have instances and struggles but those are temporary. That lasts for less than five minutes and then you stop, look around, and realize there is just too much good to be unhappy for any period of time. Next week, I’ll turn 33. The last three years has by far, been the best. I wasn’t one of those people who faked being SO upset when they turned 30. Nope. I fully embraced it. It meant change. Lots and lots of changes were coming for me and I knew it. It meant I was leaving my past behind and starting over fresh. That’s just what I did. I feel like I was given a second chance at life. Second chances…not many of us get those. Most don’t fully grasp what that means and how that changes ...