Skip to main content

it's not a fairytale

You wanna know the great thing about my life? Happiness. Yep. Probably the one thing most people take for granted. Until you grasp the idea that you’ve spent a large majority of your life unhappy. There is not one single circumstance about my life at this very moment that does not make me happy. Sure, we have instances and struggles but those are temporary. That lasts for less than five minutes and then you stop, look around, and realize there is just too much good to be unhappy for any period of time.

Next week, I’ll turn 33. The last three years has by far, been the best. I wasn’t one of those people who faked being SO upset when they turned 30. Nope. I fully embraced it. It meant change. Lots and lots of changes were coming for me and I knew it. It meant I was leaving my past behind and starting over fresh. That’s just what I did. I feel like I was given a second chance at life.

Second chances…not many of us get those. Most don’t fully grasp what that means and how that changes who we are as individuals. And if you are lucky enough, you’ll make the most of every given opportunity. For me, it was walking away from some seriously dark demons. It even meant leaving people behind whom at one point, were important in my life. As heartbreaking as it was, it was for the best. No regrets. The day I signed on the dotted line- to me, felt like I was taking my soul back from the devil. Not a single day goes by, that at any given time, I don’t look up and say “thank you” for the courage and strength it took to completely start my life over again. It was frightening to say the least. In my heart, I knew that had I not made that huge leap, I’d never have gotten that chance again.

Sitting here, I look at my surroundings. The sweetest, most beautiful little girl, napping on the couch; another off with her daddy and brother to celebrate their summer together and my oldest is at band camp. My home, my job, nursing school; I’m grateful. Every single second, I’m grateful. From where I’m sitting…33 is looking pretty damn good.

Screw a fairytale. I have my happy ending.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

every day

Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...

a real love story

I am going to tell you a story. It is a story of love, surrender and peace. There is a hero in the end. But there usually is, right? Right. Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us. I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. ...

my greatest accomplishment

If I ever become a statistic, the odds will always be in my favor. I’m a stubborn girl. I always have been and always will be. I buck the system every chance I get because I have always wanted to be outside of the norm. Normal is overrated. I am the odd ball, the loner and the awkward one. I’m perfectly okay with that. I’ve always had big dreams for my little boy but most importantly, I just wanted him to succeed at life. I prayed for him from the day he was born that he would become great and wonderful and every single moment that passes with him, my prayers have been answered. You probably think I boast and brag on him too much. So what? What mother isn’t prideful of her children? But you have to understand the journey. Me and that kid have been through so much together. He saved my life. Most of you know my story. I left home at the end of my junior year in high school, three months later, I got knocked up and I lived with a friend until three months after Nathaniel wa...