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back to school

Last night, I glanced over my shoulder and smiled to the sound of video games resounding from the TV as it mixed in with my classical music. Matt looked up and said, "I love you" then returned his attention to his game. I turned my attention back to my Med Term book and felt that warm fuzzy feeling inside bubble up.

This is one of the many reasons he's my best friend.

He doesn't like for me to sit alone in our bedroom while I study and for as long as I've been in school, it's been this way. I'll come into our room either to do homework or peruse over the lesson for the next day. I’ll sit for maybe 10-15 minutes and before long, he’s wrapped up in bed with his Xbox controller to keep me company. Every now and again, I’ll read something out loud or say “did you know…?” and he’ll turn his attention towards me long enough to let me finish and then go back to his game. Whether he retains that info or not makes no difference to me. He’s there and that’s the only thing that matters. He’s supportive and he’s patient with me even in my moments where I’m cramming for midterms or crying over finals.

This week, I started my first semester of Nursing school. I spent a better part of a week stressing and anxious of what to expect. When Wednesday came, I was cool, calm and collect. Why? Because this is finally no longer a dream but my reality. NO one wants this more than I do. In a class of 70+ students, I can guarantee that. It’s taken a lot for me to get here. Sleepless nights, tears of frustration, aggravation and relief have brought me right here. You cannot imagine how hard I am on myself. Ask my husband or my sister.

I welcome the challenges, the endless reading and the grumpy patients. In 33 years, there is nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to become a Nurse and to be a college graduate. The sense of pride and accomplishment I feel when I look at my kids…They get to witness and be a part of every moment; good and bad. They laugh when I call them into the kitchen so I can use them for anatomy practice; they sit right beside me when I cry from tears of relief or irritation and the hugs…oh those hugs. Those are the best part of my day. They make every semester hour worth it.

I’d never have made it this far without my family. Matt is so incredibly supportive and understanding. He listens to me rant, rave, cuss, scream, cry and laugh. He helps me study; he takes care of the kids, the house and most importantly, me. He’s helping me fulfill my reality. I’ll never forget what he said to me a few months after we met. I’d struggle through one semester because of my divorce. I was ready to give up and quit. He told me that if I quit school, he was going to leave me! Talk about motivation. But I understood what he meant and where he was coming from. I was accepted into Nursing school while he was deployed. It just so happened that he called while I was checking the mail that day. I screamed over the phone and then cried uncontrollably. Even from thousands of miles away, I was able to share my joy and love with him. He knew how much this meant to me. What made it even better was my kids were there. I hugged my son and cried some more. (Yeah, I cry a lot!) Above all, I do this for him.

Stick with me over the next year or so. It’s gonna get interesting. ;)

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