If You Only Knew

Pronunciation: \ˈha-pē-nəs\ Function: noun Date: 15th century 1 obsolete : good fortune : prosperity 2 a : a state of well-being and contentment : joy b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience That's Webster's definition of happiness. Most everyone in life wants it, most people attain it and others live it. For the better part of life, I've only experienced the first two. Not saying I've never been happy, but it's been more of "happy moments" and not true genuine life-long happiness. This past month...nothing but. This amazing man came into my life and turned my world upside down. Literally. When I got divorced, I was open to the idea of dating but certainly had no intentions of "settling down". I'd been in a relationship for a better part of 13 years and wanted to experience "single life". So when I met this guy, my first thoughts were, "I can see myself dating him". I had no idea it would turn into so much more. Matt ...

Writing gives me peace. It allows me to say what's on my heart and my mind and sometimes it gives me sanity. Over the past few days, I've seen a number of people lose friends, fuss, fight and argue over recent politics. It all takes place on facebook. Sometimes I used facebook to vent and why not? Facebook is only a small group of my most intimate friends. Or so I thought... I use facebook to keep in touch with my friends, here and afar. I also use it to keep in touch with family who lives long distance. My statuses talk about what I'm doing, how I feel or just any random thought that comes to mind. It's MY page. I keep it extremely private because of nosy idiots who have nothing better to do. At one time, I had over 300 "friends". I know I don't have that many friends, half just wanted to be nosy and see what's been going on in my life since high school and the rest just wanted high numbers. That's not my purpose. My purpose to keep in touch and h...

Mixed emotions have been running through me for a few days now. I always have my ups and downs; some days I can handle them and some, I can't. Today is one of those days that I just can't seem to get a grip on anything. I walked away from my divorce with the house, my freedom and my dignity. That's it. I was even willing to give up the house, and on days like today, I almost wished I had. I kept the house for my kids. If he'd asked for it, I would have given it up easily simply because I cannot afford the responsibility that comes along with it. I do my very best to keep it up but at times, it's just too much. Pride is one of those sins that God doesn't like and I have alot of it. It's difficult for me to ask for help and I have to swallow hard when I do. Take for instance the day I walked into DHR. It took everything I had not to grab everything up and walk out, but I stayed; I went through my interview and later found out I was approved for foodstamps. Gre...

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3 God blessed me tremendously when He gave me my children. By far, they are the best life has to offer. I cannot imagine life without them and I hope I never have to. Yesterday, my daughter turned 9. All I can think is, "where have the years gone?" I remember her as a tiny baby and now...she's growing up before my own eyes. It won't be long before prom, first dates and all that good stuff. For now, I'll enjoy these young years and take them all in as slowly as I can. This perfect lil angel far exceeds anything I expect from having a child. She's beautiful, smart and so compassionate. Her love for people amazes me. Innocence at it's best. Everyone is her friend. She has a smile that will melt the coldest heart and eyes you could fall into. How did I get so lucky to have someone like her in my life? I never knew I could love so deep. She fills my heart with so much joy, it...

Today was a fabulously beautiful day. I love spring time. I've always said I love winter but something about the flowers blooming and the gorgeous sun on my face just makes life better. Relay for Life is apart of the American Cancer Society, a cause near and dear to my heart. Many members of my family have been touched by this devastating disease. Each year, we raise money for cancer research and to help those who suffer; whether it's for medical expenses, transportation or just every day life. Our fundraiser this weekend was a Yard/Bake Sale and we were very successful. I didn't have a particular goal set but it still far exceeded my expectations. It helps that I have an awesome team supporting me, who believes in this cause just as much as I do. It was a proud day for me. Along with this awesome weather, I'm looking forward to spending the evening with my amazing man. I met Matt about a month ago. I wasn't looking for anything special; heck I wasn't even looki...

My old blog was my past. This will be my present and my future. I'm starting my life over again. It's a new me with a new attitude. From here on out, I decide what my life will be about. So...let the journey begin. I'm recently divorced, mother of two. My life has taken turns that I never imagined possible. I found courage and strength that I never knew existed in me. The first step in my life was to removed those who did not have some type of positive influence or encouragement. Eliminating negavitity is important to me. I've never thought of myself as a negative person and I don't like those influences in my life. I try my best to look at the positive aspect, to be encouraging whenever possible and that's what I need in my life right now. My second step is to find me. That might seem odd to some people. You might ask "Where did you go?" and I thought the same thing. I'm on this self discovery mission to find my likes, dislikes and what direction...