His Legacy

In the summer of 1997, I showed up on his doorstep with a three-month-old baby on my hip. After explaining that this was his grandson, he welcomed us both into his home and our lives forever changed.

From that moment, the sun rose and set on his grandson and he could do no wrong in his eyes. As my son grew, it became obvious that he felt the same. Where you saw Andrew, you saw Nathaniel. Andrew was so proud of his sweet boy. He took Nathaniel with him everywhere. To the cow fields, where they would feed the cows together; to church where he grew to love his “Preacherman”, and even on the tractor. McDonald’s was always his favorite trip; he couldn’t live without his chicken nuggets. They were two peas in a pod, as their grandma used to say. That never changed.

Andrew always made me feel apart of the family, even when I felt like an outsider. One of the conditions to coming to live with him was that I went back to high school and graduated. He made sure he had a front row seat the day I graduated, and I knew how proud he was. He would always stress to me how important education was and then it would follow with one of his long-winded lectures we always hated. I am going to miss those talks now…

He didn’t breathe unless he was talking about God. He was so proud when I got baptized and later joined my church choir. I remember when I was home practicing a song for choir; as I was playing the music, he would sing along with me. He’s the only person I could sing in front of without feeling shy or bashful. There wasn’t a Sunday he wasn’t in church, on the front row, with his grandbaby sitting right beside him, dressed in his Sunday best. After church, it was off to McDonald’s for his baby’s chicken nuggets.

His talks-boy, did he love to talk. He always had a lesson in one of his talks. He was passionate when he spoke. He talked about growing up, working in the fields with his family or he’d sometimes talk about Vietnam or his travels to Germany. He always had an adventure to talk about.

He taught my son to be a man. Nathaniel watched every single thing his grandfather ever did. On Sunday mornings, he would be right by his side, getting ready for church. He’d brush his teeth and comb his hair and he’d stand by his granddaddy in the bathroom while he was shaving, closely watching everything he did. He’d come out of the bathroom so proud, wearing Andrew’s Polo cologne, smile beaming from ear to ear. He watched him so much, that I’ll never forget the time he’d gone into his granddad’s bathroom, put Vaseline all over his hair and face and then took his trimming scissors and cut his hair! What a mess!

“Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Andrew taught me that verse and it was probably one of the first that I memorized. I didn’t get to tell Andrew how much I loved him and how grateful I was for everything he did for me and for my son. He changed both of our lives for the better.

Andrew would give the shirt off his back for anyone. He never met a stranger. He’d help anyone who asked. He saw past color and creed and saw people’s hearts. He found the best in people and tried to bring out their potential and he didn’t speak to you without speaking about God. He was hardworking and strong-willed. He never had a lazy bone in his body. If he wasn’t in the cow fields, he was outside working in the yard or doing something to the house. He rarely had idle hands, even when he was sick.

After the divorce, he still came out to the house once a week to see his grandchildren. I knew he was hurt but I think over time, he forgave me. He still helped if I needed it and he still came to talk to me. He would always bring the kids money when he came to visit and after I remarried and my step kids came to live with us, he’d even bring them money, and he’d tell me he didn’t want them to feel left out because they were still part of the family. That’s the kind of man he was. Eventually, he couldn’t make the drive anymore, so I’d take the kids to his house to see him when he was home. He didn’t miss a graduation and he loved to see his grandson play the drums. I always kept him updated on how the kids were doing, what they had going on and he would do his best to be involved. He was so proud to see the man Nathaniel had become and he’d brag about him to anyone that would listen.

I will miss his waves followed with a “howdy-do” and a smile when he’d walk in the door. I will miss his talks and his peppermints he always kept in his pocket and the smell of his Polo on Sunday mornings. I regret that I didn’t spend more time with him or that I didn’t tell him more how important he was to me. I am grateful for the love and compassion and care he gave to my children, and even my stepchildren. He left behind a legacy that I will see every time I look in my children’s eyes.