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The difficult decisions

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The most difficult thing ever for a parent to do is let a child go.



My son has decided he wants to live with his dad when school starts. Hearing those words made me feel like someone ripped my heart out. He turned 13 this year. I didn't think I had to let him go until 18 but it happened alot sooner than I wanted.


He's growing up fast and maturing even faster. I know that he needs his dad in his life to teach him how to be a man. In my mind I know this but my heart is having a hard time hearing it. That precious boy has given me 13 amazing years of his life and I've been blessed with being apart of those years. He wants to strengthen his relationship with his dad and that, in my eyes, is a sign of maturity. His dad will be able to guide him in areas of his life that I might otherwise not be able to simply because I'm not a man.


I could be selfish and tell him no, but I can't look him in his beautiful brown eyes knowing that I've denied him something that is so very important to him. I know he's not going away forever but I feel like these are the most important years of his life and I'm going to miss something...anything...just because I won't be there.


For moms, this is always the hardest. Watching your baby boy grow into a man, knowing that one day, he's going to venture out into the world and you won't be there to hold his hand. He's taking those steps in that direction and it's heartbreaking and scary. I know his dad will take care of him but it's different. It's a mom thing. I won't be there when he wakes up in the morning to start his days, I won't be there when he lays his head down at night, I won't be there when something exciting happens at school and he wants to talk for hours about it. Or even when he just needs a hug...I'm going to miss all that. Sure, he'll come home on the weekends...but it's just not the same.
I love my son. He's my precious gift from God and I cherish him more than anything in this world. I can't live without him and somehow...I just have to...
I will pray for him everyday; pray that God will lead his steps and guide him in every decision he makes. I will pray for his dad; for patience and understanding of what it takes to raise a son. I will pray for myself; for strength and peace in knowing that I've made the right decision.
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  1. Kym KlassJuly 19, 2010 at 6:34 PM

    Oh, Shannon, this tore at me. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers ...

    ReplyDelete

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