Does it get easier?

I never knew I could miss someone so much.

And it's not the big things I miss. It's the little things. Like laying in bed on Sunday morning, wrapped up in each other, listening to each other breath; sitting on the front porch, listening to birds chirp and taking in every single second; curled up on the bed watching movies together and folding laundry. Or even listening to music together, talking about the songs we like.

My heart aches. I feel like a piece of me is missing. I go through the motions each day, trying to keep my mind occupied so that I don't think about it much. I try to tell myself that he's just at work and he'll be home. But when I walk in that door at the end of the day, it hits me hard...he's not coming home tonight.

I don't do countdowns. It makes it even harder. It seems to drag out even longer if I try to count how many days til he comes home. And the weekends are harder because my kids are gone so I'm home alone. That is the worst. The silence drives me crazy so I keep the music playing in the house so it doesn't feel so empty.

I know that I will get through this. I have to, for him. I know this in my mind but my heart still feels that emptiness. I wonder if it ever gets any easier.

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