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it's over

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I was standing in the shower and through the frosted glass I saw his image in the bedroom. I smiled and sighed happily. It's been a week since he's returned home from Iraq.

It's been an incredible journey for me, to say the least. I learned a lot about myself. I discovered how much strength I had in me. People have told me numerous times that "I'm a strong woman" but I just believed I knew how to survive in bad situations. Knowing survival and having strength and courage are very different in my opinion. I've always done what was necessary to get by in life. This was extremely different circumstances. For all intents and purposes, my husband went off to war. I stayed behind to take care of our family and our home. And myself.

I don't know if this deployment changed who I am but I know it changed my perception of myself. I worked very hard at that. I worked hard on me, physically and emotionally.

I expected to have to readjust to him being home. In most normal circumstances, that would be the case. Not for us. But we've never been described as normal. After a few days, it felt as if he'd never left. He still holds me when I sleep at night (yes, every night) and he still opens my car door. He's still the perfect gentleman. He's every bit of the man I met two years ago.

"I'm not sure anyone has the right to look as happy as you do...." I laughed when my friend said that to me. That's just something I never thought I'd hear. My past keeps me very humble and I know that what I have at this very moment is a blessing.

This deployment made us stronger as I'd hoped it would. I never for one moment doubted that he wouldn't come home safety to me. That thought never crossed my mind. I worried whether I'd still have my sanity when it was over. It was not easy. But it's over now. Now it's just a distant memory that I can push to the back of my mind. What I won't forget is that this period of time showed me what I was truly capable of mentally, physically and emotionally. For that, I'll always be grateful.
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