Skip to main content

it's over

Image
By

I was standing in the shower and through the frosted glass I saw his image in the bedroom. I smiled and sighed happily. It's been a week since he's returned home from Iraq.

It's been an incredible journey for me, to say the least. I learned a lot about myself. I discovered how much strength I had in me. People have told me numerous times that "I'm a strong woman" but I just believed I knew how to survive in bad situations. Knowing survival and having strength and courage are very different in my opinion. I've always done what was necessary to get by in life. This was extremely different circumstances. For all intents and purposes, my husband went off to war. I stayed behind to take care of our family and our home. And myself.

I don't know if this deployment changed who I am but I know it changed my perception of myself. I worked very hard at that. I worked hard on me, physically and emotionally.

I expected to have to readjust to him being home. In most normal circumstances, that would be the case. Not for us. But we've never been described as normal. After a few days, it felt as if he'd never left. He still holds me when I sleep at night (yes, every night) and he still opens my car door. He's still the perfect gentleman. He's every bit of the man I met two years ago.

"I'm not sure anyone has the right to look as happy as you do...." I laughed when my friend said that to me. That's just something I never thought I'd hear. My past keeps me very humble and I know that what I have at this very moment is a blessing.

This deployment made us stronger as I'd hoped it would. I never for one moment doubted that he wouldn't come home safety to me. That thought never crossed my mind. I worried whether I'd still have my sanity when it was over. It was not easy. But it's over now. Now it's just a distant memory that I can push to the back of my mind. What I won't forget is that this period of time showed me what I was truly capable of mentally, physically and emotionally. For that, I'll always be grateful.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

every day

By
Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...
Post a Comment
Read more

surrender

By
I spent a better part of my life worrying over events of the past that I had absolutely no control over. Because that's who I was. Or at least that's who I defined myself as. A control freak. At age 32, it took that span of my life to realize I cannot control what other people do. Or how they react to situations. Or how they treat you as a person. I once saw a quote that stated, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours". It clicked with me. Revelations come to me at the most unusual times. Yesterday was one of those times. I was driving home from school and all of a sudden, the thought of my mother popped in my head. For so long, I was jealous of other women and girls who had such wonderful mother/daughter relationships. I wanted that so badly for myself but was never able to get there. And as I struggled to get through this week, I couldn't help be think "anyone else's mom would be comforting and supportive." I haven't hea...
1 comment
Read more

a real love story

By
I am going to tell you a story. It is a story of love, surrender and peace. There is a hero in the end. But there usually is, right? Right. Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us. I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. ...
3 comments
Read more