Skip to main content

it's over

Image
By

I was standing in the shower and through the frosted glass I saw his image in the bedroom. I smiled and sighed happily. It's been a week since he's returned home from Iraq.

It's been an incredible journey for me, to say the least. I learned a lot about myself. I discovered how much strength I had in me. People have told me numerous times that "I'm a strong woman" but I just believed I knew how to survive in bad situations. Knowing survival and having strength and courage are very different in my opinion. I've always done what was necessary to get by in life. This was extremely different circumstances. For all intents and purposes, my husband went off to war. I stayed behind to take care of our family and our home. And myself.

I don't know if this deployment changed who I am but I know it changed my perception of myself. I worked very hard at that. I worked hard on me, physically and emotionally.

I expected to have to readjust to him being home. In most normal circumstances, that would be the case. Not for us. But we've never been described as normal. After a few days, it felt as if he'd never left. He still holds me when I sleep at night (yes, every night) and he still opens my car door. He's still the perfect gentleman. He's every bit of the man I met two years ago.

"I'm not sure anyone has the right to look as happy as you do...." I laughed when my friend said that to me. That's just something I never thought I'd hear. My past keeps me very humble and I know that what I have at this very moment is a blessing.

This deployment made us stronger as I'd hoped it would. I never for one moment doubted that he wouldn't come home safety to me. That thought never crossed my mind. I worried whether I'd still have my sanity when it was over. It was not easy. But it's over now. Now it's just a distant memory that I can push to the back of my mind. What I won't forget is that this period of time showed me what I was truly capable of mentally, physically and emotionally. For that, I'll always be grateful.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Anniversary

By
I knew it would be an emotional day when I saw the date on the calendar. March 31st-exactly one year from the date I started my weight loss journey. This journey has been emotional, to say the least. It's taken me to places in my life I'd never been. Frustrating, grateful, joyful...and so much more. It has definitely been a struggle but one I'm very proud of. I've battled with my weight for all of my adult life. I've exercised, I've done diets, but nothing I was truly dedicated to until now. The support I've been given in the last year has been insurmountable. It's pushed me along in my journey, kept me encouraged and helped me to fight for what I truly wanted; a healthy life and a complete change in my self esteem. My attitude towards myself has changed tremendously. I still have those moments of weakness but I know mentally and emotionally, I'm not who I was a year ago. I had a lot to prove to myself. I still feel I do. I want need to know ...
1 comment
Read more

yes, I did

By
My first blog when I started this was about "finding me". Matt asked me yesterday if I'd found "me" yet and it made me think... In January, I got divorced and almost a year later, I still believe it's the best decision I've made. And the smartest. While I've still had some struggles with it in between, I have no regrets. A month later, that perfect man walked into my life. Perfect. Every single thing about him is perfect, all the way down to his snores at night. He makes me feel invincible. I could conquer the world with him by my side. Some times, its a bit overwhelming. I've never experienced these emotions before. I feel like my heart will explode in my chest. I could cry rivers of joy. But then I sit still, staring out at the stars off my front porch and this blanket of peace covers me completely. Nothing like it in this world. I've spent 31 years living in fear over one thing or another. Today, I'm proud to say, I no longer live that...
1 comment
Read more

Starting Over

By
My old blog was my past. This will be my present and my future. I'm starting my life over again. It's a new me with a new attitude. From here on out, I decide what my life will be about. So...let the journey begin. I'm recently divorced, mother of two. My life has taken turns that I never imagined possible. I found courage and strength that I never knew existed in me. The first step in my life was to removed those who did not have some type of positive influence or encouragement. Eliminating negavitity is important to me. I've never thought of myself as a negative person and I don't like those influences in my life. I try my best to look at the positive aspect, to be encouraging whenever possible and that's what I need in my life right now. My second step is to find me. That might seem odd to some people. You might ask "Where did you go?" and I thought the same thing. I'm on this self discovery mission to find my likes, dislikes and what direction...
3 comments
Read more