Skip to main content

still not done!

Not by a long shot. I didn't start college two years ago to give up and just quit.

So nursing just wasn't for me. I thought I was always meant to help people and this was the way to go. Maybe not. But I've learned their are other ways to use the gifts I've been blessed with. So I'll continue on the original path I sought, which was psychology.

I'm smart. Just not nursing smart. And that's ok I suppose. It still stings. I failed. I don't do that often and I guess it's just a huge blow to my ego. I've spent more time worrying about others think of me and that is probably what hurts the most. "She failed?!" Yeah, I did. Let me see you do this shit. Any one of my fellow nursing students will tell you-it ain't easy! It only gets harder!

Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm really not stupid and that it's ok. I don't know. I feel like a failure and I don't want to feel that way.

I'm eight classes from graduating with my Associates in Psychology. I'll then pursue my Bachelors and then my Masters. What then; I have no clue. But I've always like figuring out what makes people tick. So I guess this is the best choice for me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

every day

Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...

surrender

I spent a better part of my life worrying over events of the past that I had absolutely no control over. Because that's who I was. Or at least that's who I defined myself as. A control freak. At age 32, it took that span of my life to realize I cannot control what other people do. Or how they react to situations. Or how they treat you as a person. I once saw a quote that stated, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours". It clicked with me. Revelations come to me at the most unusual times. Yesterday was one of those times. I was driving home from school and all of a sudden, the thought of my mother popped in my head. For so long, I was jealous of other women and girls who had such wonderful mother/daughter relationships. I wanted that so badly for myself but was never able to get there. And as I struggled to get through this week, I couldn't help be think "anyone else's mom would be comforting and supportive." I haven't hea...

to a mother

Writer's Note : This is MY view and MY opinion. So before you go screaming that I'm judgmental and horrible, just remember that.  I write this out of concern as a mother. This is not to criticize, or judge although I know it may come across that way. Please do not be offended, as it is not my intent. Please just take the time to hear me out and maybe get the perspective on someone on the outside, looking in. I always feel guilty when Trevor and Savanna come to stay with us. I look at my own children and see all that they have, yet Trevor and Savanna do not have these same things. The biggest reason is because I have taught my children that in order to have these things; they have to work for them. They have to follow the rules and understand discipline. They are held accountable for their daily actions. They are taught to be responsible in and outside of this home. They are taught morals, integrity, value and character. These are the rules we live by day to day. L...