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life changes as usual

It is true when people say "be careful what you ask for". 

I asked for my life to get back to "normal" after the holidays and that's exactly what I got. Crazy, busy, normal. It's not been bad but I definitely enjoy those days when I have nothing going on. It gives me a chance, like today, to take everything in.

These last three months have flown by. Far too fast for my liking. Last semester's nightmare is a distant memory and I see a very bright future on the horizon. So let me recap:

After some back and forth with my inner self, I decided to go the accounting route in school. I did this working for the State for five years and even though I'm not a huge fan of math, I realized I'm pretty damn good at it. I can play with numbers and work them to my advantage. And let's face it, you cannot argue with numbers. They are solid facts. 2+2=4 no matter how many ways you write it. I like that. It's a far cry from nursing school where you have to choose "the most right answer". No sir. Give me 2+2 any day of the week. I can live with that. So to go a step further, I chose the banking route. I thought accountant but I did some research on what is required just to be a CPA. Whoa. I'm good with money but I don't think I wanna go down that road. So we back track and I land a job at the Credit Union. Not a bad way to start at all. It's also part time which works perfectly with my school schedule and it gives me the freedom to do more with my family. If I so choose, after graduation I can work full time and slowly begin my career path towards bank auditing and bank management. Good sound career goals, right? Right. And with the state of our economy, you really can't do much better. I'm taking on the world now baby!

The icing on this cake? I graduate in December! Hot damn, it's about time. Yes, it has taken me four years to get a two year degree, but yanno what? I'M GOING TO GRADUATE! That's what matters to me. There are hundreds of times I wanted to quit. I didn't. I stuck it out and this is where I am right now. Maybe this is where I should have been heading but I had to hit those few bumps along the way. A waste of time? Nah. At first I thought so. Then I realized that every time I hit one of those bumps, I grew stronger and it was just a learning process. You find out what you are made of every step of the way. So come December I will hold my head high and proudly walk across that stage. It's all been worth it. The sleepless nights, the endless tears and the constant inner struggles with myself. Yeah, I've learned a lot more than college could have ever taught me.

The emotions...they have been endless. You all know I'm a cry baby. So on top of all that is going on personally, my daughter turned 12 this week. Big tear. And my son will be 16 in May. Bigger tear. He's learning to drive, he's moving on up in school to big and better things. I could not be more proud. Sitting back and watching all this in slow motion, I realize just how much I've accomplished in this life. Watching my son turn into a young man, maturing in many ways. It's really an incredible experience. He never ceases to amaze me. I've cried tears of joy, feeling so honor and privileged to be apart of all this, and then I cry tears of sadness at how fast it's all going by. I soak up every single moment when I can. I file the memories away but then try to recall old memories of first steps, childhood accidents, firsts...I realize how much I've taken for granted all these years. And my babygirl...12. She's such a little lady. Sassy and so smart. She's as stubborn as her mom. Girls are so much harder than boys! I don't care what anyone says! That one has given me a run for my money. And I love it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I love and cherish every single second. Here today, gone tomorrow is an understatement. I'm holding on to these last six years like they are gonna run away from me!

Last but never, ever least....my amazingly wonderful best friend. I couldn't do any of this without him. In a matter of three months, I've had three jobs and I'm taking a full 12 hour semester. He's been mom and dad. On mornings where I've had to be at work before the rooster crows, he's up and getting them off to school. On nights when I can't make soccer practice or games, he's running one or the other back and forth. On top of being this awesome parent, he's been struggling with his own career. Thanks to our not-so-awesome government  he's at risk for being furloughed.  We are not happy about this. Especially since he's been the sole provider for the last two years. I only recently started working again (against his wishes, I might add!) and I've been trying to keep up at least two jobs at the same time to put back into savings and prepare for whatever might happen.  No such luck. It seems every time I put money away, we've needed it for something. School trips, soccer, house repairs, car repairs. It's always something! But we are rockin' on, taking each day as it comes and hope for the best.

Our lives are forever changing. For a girl who likes structure and stability-this is far from it. And that's okay because I can handle it. I can handle anything. Life is always going to change. It is who you have in your corner that makes all the difference.

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