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being a good mom

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I'm not courageous and I'm not strong. I'll be the first to admit that.
 
I spent a large part of my life living in fear. I vowed that if I got out of my past, I'd never spend my life living in fear again. It took so much away from me.
 
In the last three weeks, I've felt more fear than I have in my entire life. I feel as though I am fighting for my own kids' lives. For all intents and purposes, I am. I love these kids as though they are  my own and I'd give up everything for them. Including my sanity.
 
I remember what it was like having no one to stand up for me. I didn't have a voice and what little one I had, I was too scared to use. No one asked me what I wanted. Never. No one cared, except for my grandmother and all things considered she was doing the best she could when I was with her. I want to give these kids the voice I never had. I want them to be able to speak up for what they want, to understand what life they should be allowed to have and to be able to make that choice. So far, they want to stay with us. And for good reason. It is NOT about money. That, I can tell you is something I do not have. I'm not rich by any stretch and probably never will be. I'm blessed with what I have now and I take none of it for granted.
 
Kids don't care about money or what you can buy them unless you raise them like that. My kids know better. My stepkids do not and I'm going to do my best to teach them that life isn't about how much "stuff" you have. I have a lot of love and time. That is what they'll get. I give to all of my kids what I so desperately wanted and needed when I was growing up. That's not being strong or courageous. That's just being a good mom. 

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