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whether I like it or not, this is who I am

My parents have been on my mind a lot. It happens often during the holidays. Thanksgiving is my dad's favorite holiday. This was his chance to shine in the kitchen! He would spend hours smoking the perfect turkey and making everything from scratch. There is no one is the tri-county area that could make a turkey like my dad! As I got older, the tradition was that I'd bring my dad a homemade cherry cheesecake. It was one of his favorites. I miss that more than anything. Family. That is what is most important to me during the holidays.

I was visiting with a friend this weekend and she was telling me about their tradition for Thanksgiving. She's from the Red Bay area; that is where she grew up and went to high school. She told me Thanksgiving was like a family reunion. They even sent out invitations. They had a huge gathering of brothers, sisters, cousins, you name it. This is the time they would spend laughing, sharing and reconnecting. Holidays have a way of bringing us closer together and sadly, tearing us apart....

I have spent most of my adult life denying that I was anything like my parents. The thought of being compared to them brought out the most foul mood in me. In the last few days, I have started to realize how much I am like them and how that may not be such a bad thing. Here is why:

Yesterday, I mentioned that my dad had a passion for cooking and that he passed on that love of cooking to me. I thrive best in the kitchen and that is not hard to see when you look at me. ;) My husband has told me on numerous occasions how odd it was that I can stand in my pantry doorway, grab items off the shelves and just throw something together; that I have the vision to see what can be made from anything. Several people have asked why don't I go to culinary school. Cooking is not something I want to make a career of. I love doing it but I don't want to cook 24/7. It is more of a hobby than a career path. I do know my father went to culinary school and specialized in Oriental cooking. Hence my love for Korean, Thai, Chinese and Japanese cuisine. It is what I grew up eating most of my life. (my dad is also Korean so it seemed natural for him). I am grateful to share this passion with him and that I'm able to pass on my joy of cooking to my family. Trust me when I say, they love it!

There are a lot of things I can say about my mother. The one that sticks out in my mind most is the way she took care of my dad during their marriage. She loves my dad and there was never any doubt about that. They have an amazing love story and as far back as I can remember, I have always said I wanted a marriage just like theirs. They have been married for 33 years. They've been through so much together and it has only made their relationship stronger. If I have learned nothing else, it was how to take care of my husband. My mother taught me that when you take care of your husband, he will in return, take care of you. I have seen and felt how much truth are in her words.

As many years as I have spent denying that I was anything like my parents, the truth is, I am very much like them in a lot of ways and deep down I have always know this. I have my dad's temper and I also have his tender heart. Some of my mom's OCD ways of cleaning I have managed to inherit as well and even that was passed down from my grandmother! I am learning to embrace these ways and make them my own. Being like them doesn't necessarily have to be bad or good. Learning to live with these character traits makes me who I am. I suppose it only adds to the person I strive so hard to be.

This is just another step in my journey of figuring out who I am.


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