It is that time of year. Yep, everyone makes promises they have no intentions of keeping with the coming year. Sure, we all have good intentions. But like everything else, we take life for granted and along the way we forget what we'd promised to do four months ago. Some people might see them through, but most do not. I feel that making resolutions just sets you up for failure.
2013 has been incredibly amazing. I thought my life changed four years ago. Holy moly. This year tops it all. New job, college graduate, adding two more kiddos to our crew for good...life just keeps getting better and better. To round out our year, my fantastic husband has discovered something new in his life and I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude. (more on that later)
If I could change one thing about 2013 and even about myself-control. Yes, we all know about the control freak I am. But surprisingly, I have discovered one thing I have absolutely no control over-how much I allow people to continuously hurt me.
Yeah.
That was a kick in the gut, for sure. I believe myself to be a strong person. I do not admit that often. Something about the holidays brings up some terrible emotions that I would prefer keeping tucked away. Sadly, that hasn't worked out too well for me. I drove to work just about everyday for a week, crying over something. Whether it was thinking about my parents or friends who suck-all I could do is just cry.
I deactivated my Facebook page for about two days. I didn't think anyone would notice. Right off, my husband and my son noticed. I have never done that before so they began to question why. At first, I could not give them a direct answer. I really wasn't sure why. I had to think on it some. Drama. Bullshit. Childish crap. All the above? Politics, personal views and opinions that did not jive with mine. I had enough. I don't need Facebook. Quite frankly, I only keep it to stay in touch with my family up North and my friends who live long distance. I have learned to stop putting so much of myself out there for others to criticize because whether I care to admit it or not, I do care about what others think of me. I value others opinions regardless of whether they meet with mine or not. Sometimes, I care a bit too much when I should not care at all.
So yesterday, my adopted momma sent me a text, asking me where I went. I broke down and told her I was tired of all the drama and nonsense. I have enough going on in my own life and I have allowed too many others to have a negative affect on my attitude. I would scroll through the newsfeed cussing and just being ugly. There is no need for that. It is just social media, right? Never take it seriously. Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one. So why did I care so much what others thought or believed? Because I consider those people my friends yet they do not have the same value towards me.
Ouch.
People I have known for years who take me for granted. Kinda like my ex husband did. Yep, I am comparing you to the monster that he is. I am a good person. I am loyal to a fault. Hell, one of my best friends lives 100+ miles away from me and I have never met her. Yet, she takes more interest in my life than the ones who live five minutes down the road from me. I had this epiphany yesterday! I have military wives and families, long distance friends and family who are more interested in me, my family and my life (and visa versa) than those who live in the same zip code. I have been blessed by all of them because I have been given the opportunity to share in their lives and watch their babies grow from birth to toddlers and so on. They have watched mine grow as well. They were there through my ex monster up until now. We have laughed and cried over Skype, through horrible deployments and then some. We have a bond that I cherish more than life itself. Yet, I have allowed people to control my thoughts and emotions who choose not to be involved with me or my family. I have forgotten to cherish the love that is before me because I wallow in anger and misery for those who look down on me and use me.
Shame on me.
So my resolution for the new year is this- Stop allowing others to hurt me who have no influence in my life. If you choose not to be apart of it, sucks for you. You have no idea what you are missing out on. If you choose to take our friendship for granted, it is time for you to move on. I have more value in myself than you do to let you continue hurting me and if this bothers you or you feel guilty reading this, I guess that means I am talking to you. I can control who I allow into my bubble. It is time I start doing so.
2013 has been incredibly amazing. I thought my life changed four years ago. Holy moly. This year tops it all. New job, college graduate, adding two more kiddos to our crew for good...life just keeps getting better and better. To round out our year, my fantastic husband has discovered something new in his life and I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude. (more on that later)
If I could change one thing about 2013 and even about myself-control. Yes, we all know about the control freak I am. But surprisingly, I have discovered one thing I have absolutely no control over-how much I allow people to continuously hurt me.
Yeah.
That was a kick in the gut, for sure. I believe myself to be a strong person. I do not admit that often. Something about the holidays brings up some terrible emotions that I would prefer keeping tucked away. Sadly, that hasn't worked out too well for me. I drove to work just about everyday for a week, crying over something. Whether it was thinking about my parents or friends who suck-all I could do is just cry.
I deactivated my Facebook page for about two days. I didn't think anyone would notice. Right off, my husband and my son noticed. I have never done that before so they began to question why. At first, I could not give them a direct answer. I really wasn't sure why. I had to think on it some. Drama. Bullshit. Childish crap. All the above? Politics, personal views and opinions that did not jive with mine. I had enough. I don't need Facebook. Quite frankly, I only keep it to stay in touch with my family up North and my friends who live long distance. I have learned to stop putting so much of myself out there for others to criticize because whether I care to admit it or not, I do care about what others think of me. I value others opinions regardless of whether they meet with mine or not. Sometimes, I care a bit too much when I should not care at all.
So yesterday, my adopted momma sent me a text, asking me where I went. I broke down and told her I was tired of all the drama and nonsense. I have enough going on in my own life and I have allowed too many others to have a negative affect on my attitude. I would scroll through the newsfeed cussing and just being ugly. There is no need for that. It is just social media, right? Never take it seriously. Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one. So why did I care so much what others thought or believed? Because I consider those people my friends yet they do not have the same value towards me.
Ouch.
People I have known for years who take me for granted. Kinda like my ex husband did. Yep, I am comparing you to the monster that he is. I am a good person. I am loyal to a fault. Hell, one of my best friends lives 100+ miles away from me and I have never met her. Yet, she takes more interest in my life than the ones who live five minutes down the road from me. I had this epiphany yesterday! I have military wives and families, long distance friends and family who are more interested in me, my family and my life (and visa versa) than those who live in the same zip code. I have been blessed by all of them because I have been given the opportunity to share in their lives and watch their babies grow from birth to toddlers and so on. They have watched mine grow as well. They were there through my ex monster up until now. We have laughed and cried over Skype, through horrible deployments and then some. We have a bond that I cherish more than life itself. Yet, I have allowed people to control my thoughts and emotions who choose not to be involved with me or my family. I have forgotten to cherish the love that is before me because I wallow in anger and misery for those who look down on me and use me.
Shame on me.
So my resolution for the new year is this- Stop allowing others to hurt me who have no influence in my life. If you choose not to be apart of it, sucks for you. You have no idea what you are missing out on. If you choose to take our friendship for granted, it is time for you to move on. I have more value in myself than you do to let you continue hurting me and if this bothers you or you feel guilty reading this, I guess that means I am talking to you. I can control who I allow into my bubble. It is time I start doing so.
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