Mother's Day

Okay, so most of you know I’m a holiday Scrooge. I just think holidays were created to suck the money out of everyone. Even birthdays. Be that as it may, Mother’s Day is right around the corner. For a long time, it was probably my least favorite. I never thought about myself when it came to Mother’s Day. I always thought about my mom. That’s hard.

Yesterday, I began thinking more and more about Mother’s Day. I like to believe I am a humble person. I try to believe that anyway. So imagine my surprise when it hit me that Mother’s Day is, in fact, about me. Not me, but…well let me explain.

My two oldest are (almost) 17 and 13. Let that sink in for a minute. I have been raising two precious lives for 17 years. My kids are proof that God takes something that, at the time, was wrong and turned it into something beautiful and wonderful. I was 16 and I was not prepared to be a mother at all. I didn’t know the first thing. But in that short time, I learned that my life was no longer my own and from the moment, I did all that I could to make sure my babies knew they were #1 and they would always be loved.

Looking back, I realize God was there. I didn’t know it at the time, but He was. In every single step I took, in every decision I made. If it was a bad decision, He turned it into something good. I believe that with my soul or else I would never have made it to where I am right now. 

I believe as a mother, we sacrifice ourselves to raise these little people to be the best they can be. Some mothers might not agree with me. Before I had my kids, I wasn’t sure what my purpose in life was. At times, I still question that purpose. But one thing I know, I was meant to raise these beautiful babies because they would change my life forever. My responsibility was to raise them into well-mannered, productive members of society. Their job was simply to love me. They have done so much more.

It hasn’t always been rainbows and butterflies. Don’t be fooled. I’ve had many, many moments of doubt, sheer frustration and tears that would flood a river. I questioned “why me” so many times. I tell myself the one thing I did right in this world was raising them without totally screwing them up. Being a mom is hard. Loving them-that’s so easy. But raising human beings? That is not for the weak at heart, let me tell you. You really do sacrifice a part of yourself. It is totally worth it when you can look over 17 years and feel a sense of pride. Because at 17, my son still hugs me in public, he still makes me cry and I have never felt so proud in my entire life. I have taught him how to make good and bad choices. I have taught him how to be polite, how to treat another people. I have taught him compassion and tolerance and mercy. My daughter is everything I am, only better. Her smile turns my world upside down. She’s so beautiful inside and out and to think I had a small part of that…She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. All the times I have screamed and yelled and cried…totally worth it. The sick nights, the bad attitudes, the late night giggles…I would not change a single thing. When my boy will still crawl into bed with me or curl up with me on the couch, every single fight over homework was absolutely worth it. 

After McKenzie, I never thought I’d have kids again. I wanted more but physically was unable to. This beautiful man came into my life and with him came two spunky, marvelous babies whom I love fiercely. God in all His glory…brought this wonderful family into my life and trusted me…ME. We all fit together perfectly in our own way. Some days are rough. It isn’t easy raising kids who are already funsize. It’s almost like undoing what was done for 12 years. That is a serious challenge. But when I come home from work and I’m tackled by four wild and rambunctious kiddos…yep. Absolutely worth it.
 

Being a mom hurts. There is some heartache you just can’t fix. That is the worst. Being a mom is so much more than just dirty laundry and a messy house. It is about teaching them life skills. Kids hate when we give them chores. But little do they know they will need these skills one day. One of the most important qualities I have tried to teach my kids is independence. Learning how to do the day-to-day things and not having to depend on someone to do them for you. People have no idea how important this is. Something as simple as grocery shopping. I remember when my ex and I split; he called me about grocery shopping. He didn’t know how! He relied on me to do most all of the household responsibilities. I realized I did not want this to happen to my children. Being a mom means making sacrifices. Like not getting your nails done because your kid needs field trip or lunch money. Waking up at 5am to make sure they get up and get on the bus in time, when you just stayed up till 11 the night before ironing clothes. Or even something insignificant like not getting extra food at dinner so your kid can have seconds because they really do love your cooking. To some, this means nothing…but to a kid who came from a home that did not cook on a regular basis-you’d be surprised how much they appreciate and enjoy a home cooked meal. Being a mom means being sympathetic and understanding to every single need they might have, even if it’s not important to you. My kids have come to me with the silliest ideas you could imagine. But to them, it’s everything. It’s not up to you to decide what they deem as important or not. They might just need someone to listen. Being a mom means you take nothing for granted, including those few extra moments of sitting in the car and talking or hearing a favorite song and singing along like no one else in the world matters. 

Mother’s Day to me is about cherishing every single blessing God has given me. Four of the most unique people in the world and I have been trusted with their lives and their hearts. It’s more than just “raising kids”. It’s investing and cultivating. It’s about learning each kid’s personality and discovering who they want to become and then encouraging that. I thank God for allowing me to be a part of that. 

Every day is Mother’s Day. I guess they just decided to pick one day out of the year to make it extra special.