If You Only Knew

I think I fell in love with my husband at least ten times yesterday. Maybe eleven. I know without a doubt in my mind who I can count on in my life. I saw a side of my son that I'd never seen before. I cried at least four times on my hiking trip yesterday. God answers prayers no matter where you are or what your circumstance. I had no idea what I was capable of or how far I could be pushed until yesterday. These are just a few things I learned about myself and about those in my life. What started out as a simple hike through the woods turned into a trek through the mountains that seriously had me questioning and doubting myself as a woman. This picture. It was an expression of pain, relief, pride and shame. I have been hiking many times throughout my life. Taking a simple hike, 3-4 miles through nature is easy. I can do that any day of the week. So when my sister offered to take us hiking to The Walls of Jericho, of course I said yes. I truly had no idea what we we

Rebellion. It can be defined as open defiance or opposition. That has been me in many different situations. At one time, I was rebellious against God. I was angry and I didn’t want to go along with His teachings. And you know; you know that you are doing it intentionally and with purpose. The same can be said about fitness and being healthy. In 2011, I lost 60 pounds while my husband was away. I didn’t do for me as much as I did it for him. This much I know; I didn’t do it for the right reasons and that is why I have gained 50 pounds back since he came home in December 2011. After I regained the first 30 pounds, the rest was just out of spite. I kept telling myself “it is okay, I’ll lose it just like I did before” or that “who needs to be skinny?” I came up with every single excuse you could imagine to regain almost every pound I lost. I even used my husband. He loves me just like I am, no one thinks I’m fat and I’m going to be okay. Part of that is true. My husband does love

Okay, so most of you know I’m a holiday Scrooge. I just think holidays were created to suck the money out of everyone. Even birthdays. Be that as it may, Mother’s Day is right around the corner. For a long time, it was probably my least favorite. I never thought about myself when it came to Mother’s Day. I always thought about my mom. That’s hard. Yesterday, I began thinking more and more about Mother’s Day. I like to believe I am a humble person. I try to believe that anyway. So imagine my surprise when it hit me that Mother’s Day is, in fact, about me. Not me, but…well let me explain. My two oldest are (almost) 17 and 13. Let that sink in for a minute. I have been raising two precious lives for 17 years. My kids are proof that God takes something that, at the time, was wrong and turned it into something beautiful and wonderful. I was 16 and I was not prepared to be a mother at all. I didn’t know the first thing. But in that short time, I learned that my life was no longer