If You Only Knew

It's been three months since he left and not a single second goes by that I don't think about him. It's not getting easier but just tolerable. We spent four glorious days together and I cherished every single moment he was in my site. Then he left again and he took my heart with him; he left his behind. I miss him so much. Some days, it's all I can do just to get outta bed. Then some days I can't get out of bed fast enough because he's not in it with me. I keep a pile of clothes in the bed just so something is there...so it's not empty. I hate it. I miss going to sleep in his arms every night. I miss waking up to his beautiful face. I miss every thing about him... My kids are my saving grace. If it weren't for them, I know that I wouldn't be able to get through this. My son is just amazing. He just knows the right moments. I'm so very grateful for the wonderful relationship we have. He heard me in my room crying the other day and ran in there and...

My first blog when I started this was about "finding me". Matt asked me yesterday if I'd found "me" yet and it made me think... In January, I got divorced and almost a year later, I still believe it's the best decision I've made. And the smartest. While I've still had some struggles with it in between, I have no regrets. A month later, that perfect man walked into my life. Perfect. Every single thing about him is perfect, all the way down to his snores at night. He makes me feel invincible. I could conquer the world with him by my side. Some times, its a bit overwhelming. I've never experienced these emotions before. I feel like my heart will explode in my chest. I could cry rivers of joy. But then I sit still, staring out at the stars off my front porch and this blanket of peace covers me completely. Nothing like it in this world. I've spent 31 years living in fear over one thing or another. Today, I'm proud to say, I no longer live that...