If You Only Knew

It is that time of year. Yep, everyone makes promises they have no intentions of keeping with the coming year. Sure, we all have good intentions. But like everything else, we take life for granted and along the way we forget what we'd promised to do four months ago. Some people might see them through, but most do not. I feel that making resolutions just sets you up for failure. 2013 has been incredibly amazing. I thought my life changed four years ago. Holy moly. This year tops it all. New job, college graduate, adding two more kiddos to our crew for good...life just keeps getting better and better. To round out our year, my fantastic husband has discovered something new in his life and I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude. (more on that later) If I could change one thing about 2013 and even about myself-control. Yes, we all know about the control freak I am. But surprisingly, I have discovered one thing I have absolutely no control over-how much I allow people to continuou

About half way through my first marriage, I began to realize I had no support system in my life. I became very independent except for the little fact that I believed I could not financially survive on my own. It took a few more years to realize I just didn't give a shit anymore and I needed a way out. I took a huge leap of faith and almost 5 years later, this is where I landed. Right smack dab in the middle of happiness. Amazing. In that time period, I lived out of necessity because it was my only option. I felt very alone and at that point, I had made up in my mind that I didn't "need" anyone anymore. This is how it was supposed to be. I didn't want to need anyone because people let you down daily. I was sick of being hurt all the time and not being able to depend on those I needed most. I stopped talking to people because they used my words and feelings against me. It was me against the world and even up until recently, I still felt that way. It hurts too much