If You Only Knew

Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Understatement of the year. And my biggest blessing. It's been almost five months now. Summer flew by and I'm so thankful it did. I'd never wish away my life but I'd be all too happy for the next seven months to disappear by tomorrow morning. While most days are better, I did worry for awhile. My bad days were beginning to outweigh the good. I was very excited when school started, then marching band started and now I'm constantly busy and on the go. It truly is a blessing. It's also been six months since I married my best friend. It seems like yesterday we were just in Vegas saying I do. It made my heart a lil sad when I realized we've spent more time apart as husband and wife, than we have together. I keep telling myself it's only temporary and that he'll be home soon but some times it's just not enough. Night time is still hardest. I've found that I wait until I'm absolutely ...

It's been three months since he left and not a single second goes by that I don't think about him. It's not getting easier but just tolerable. We spent four glorious days together and I cherished every single moment he was in my site. Then he left again and he took my heart with him; he left his behind. I miss him so much. Some days, it's all I can do just to get outta bed. Then some days I can't get out of bed fast enough because he's not in it with me. I keep a pile of clothes in the bed just so something is there...so it's not empty. I hate it. I miss going to sleep in his arms every night. I miss waking up to his beautiful face. I miss every thing about him... My kids are my saving grace. If it weren't for them, I know that I wouldn't be able to get through this. My son is just amazing. He just knows the right moments. I'm so very grateful for the wonderful relationship we have. He heard me in my room crying the other day and ran in there and...

I never knew I could miss someone so much. And it's not the big things I miss. It's the little things. Like laying in bed on Sunday morning, wrapped up in each other, listening to each other breath; sitting on the front porch, listening to birds chirp and taking in every single second; curled up on the bed watching movies together and folding laundry. Or even listening to music together, talking about the songs we like. My heart aches. I feel like a piece of me is missing. I go through the motions each day, trying to keep my mind occupied so that I don't think about it much. I try to tell myself that he's just at work and he'll be home. But when I walk in that door at the end of the day, it hits me hard...he's not coming home tonight. I don't do countdowns. It makes it even harder. It seems to drag out even longer if I try to count how many days til he comes home. And the weekends are harder because my kids are gone so I'm home alone. That is the worst. ...