In the summer of 1997, I showed up on his doorstep with a three-month-old baby on my hip. After explaining that this was his grandson, he welcomed us both into his home and our lives forever changed. From that moment, the sun rose and set on his grandson and he could do no wrong in his eyes. As my son grew, it became obvious that he felt the same. Where you saw Andrew, you saw Nathaniel. Andrew was so proud of his sweet boy. He took Nathaniel with him everywhere. To the cow fields, where they would feed the cows together; to church where he grew to love his “Preacherman”, and even on the tractor. McDonald’s was always his favorite trip; he couldn’t live without his chicken nuggets. They were two peas in a pod, as their grandma used to say. That never changed. Andrew always made me feel apart of the family, even when I felt like an outsider. One of the conditions to coming to live with him was that I went back to high school and graduated. He made sure he had a front row seat
I’ve always had the gift of gab, as my dad used to say. I could talk about anything and I could write for days on end. Once a thought popped into my head, I’d go straight to the computer and type away. In the last few months, I feel as though I have much to say, yet nothing comes out. I would get lost in thought and by the time my fingers touched the keys, I had nothing. Positivity was my jam. It didn’t matter how bad things look on the outside, I knew deep down, everything would be okay. I had my moments but then I would talk it out, reason with God and realize that everything would be A-okay. Right now, God is the furthest thing from my mind. 2018 has not been kind. I got kicked. And then I got kicked again. And then I got kicked some more and decided that I would just stay down because the blows kept coming. At that point, I just didn’t have it in me to do anything other than stay down and sure enough, I got kicked again. Right about now is when I would decide I have n