If You Only Knew

I chose to go through this deployment. I knew about it before I'd met Matt. I chose to love him completely and unconditionally, knowing that he'd have to leave me and our family behind. I try daily to stay positive but some days, it's a real struggle. One thing I do know is that this deployment has only made us stronger in many ways. We've always had great communication and it's gotten even better. We take absolutely nothing for granted. Every single second I get to hear his voice is priceless to me. I can't wait for my husband to come home but I will wait and be even stronger for it. I have found strength beyond what I knew existed in me. I've also found out who truly supports me through difficult times. Many people before this deployment were quick to say, "I'll be there" and later, when put to the test, came to fail. The most difficult moments for me, are ones people take for granted in their day to day lives. Cooking for him, doing his ...

My first blog when I started this was about "finding me". Matt asked me yesterday if I'd found "me" yet and it made me think... In January, I got divorced and almost a year later, I still believe it's the best decision I've made. And the smartest. While I've still had some struggles with it in between, I have no regrets. A month later, that perfect man walked into my life. Perfect. Every single thing about him is perfect, all the way down to his snores at night. He makes me feel invincible. I could conquer the world with him by my side. Some times, its a bit overwhelming. I've never experienced these emotions before. I feel like my heart will explode in my chest. I could cry rivers of joy. But then I sit still, staring out at the stars off my front porch and this blanket of peace covers me completely. Nothing like it in this world. I've spent 31 years living in fear over one thing or another. Today, I'm proud to say, I no longer live that...