If You Only Knew

No do-overs in life. Time to release and let go of the past forever and move on with a clean slate. Free. New. Better than ever and knowing in my soul that THIS path, right here, right now, is exactly where God wants me to be. I live it; I breathe it, I HAVE FAITH in it. I have forgiven myself, God has forgiven me and I have forgiven those that have wronged me. It was hard, it was scary but I did it and I have NO REGRETS in life. None. There were things I wanted to hold onto but when I think about it now-why? Why hold onto the things that hurt us? I don’t understand why people do it and I still don’t know why I did it but I know I AM FREE. I can take this final step into my life and know, with a doubt, I’m right where God meant for me to be. HE answered my prayers, he delivered me and HE LOVES ME. I remember nights I’d cry myself to sleep or hide in a closet, wishing I could run from the world; run from life. Praying…oh how I prayed. I’ve dropped to my knees in tears crying out to ...

This week has been a struggle. I've sat and prayed and tried to look through the storm clouds and see the blessing in all this and believe it or not, I've managed to do so. Matt left a week ago today for Annual Training. It's almost like basic all over again for him. Three weeks in the cold, bitter weather, learning maneuvers and tactics that he'll need while he's deployed. I've done my best not to have a pity party because I miss him so much. I know it's hard for him. The first night, he was sleeping in a tent outside in 18 degree weather in North Alabama. Now those of you from the South know we are NOT used to that type of weather. So my first worry, of course, was of him staying warm. I don't always understand the ways of military thinking but who am I to question them, right? He calls me at least once a day and tells me of his days of crawling through mud and battling Mother Nature's brutal conditions. He doesn't get to shower for 2-3 days, ...