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life goes on

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Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Understatement of the year. And my biggest blessing.

It's been almost five months now. Summer flew by and I'm so thankful it did. I'd never wish away my life but I'd be all too happy for the next seven months to disappear by tomorrow morning.

While most days are better, I did worry for awhile. My bad days were beginning to outweigh the good. I was very excited when school started, then marching band started and now I'm constantly busy and on the go. It truly is a blessing.

It's also been six months since I married my best friend. It seems like yesterday we were just in Vegas saying I do. It made my heart a lil sad when I realized we've spent more time apart as husband and wife, than we have together. I keep telling myself it's only temporary and that he'll be home soon but some times it's just not enough. Night time is still hardest. I've found that I wait until I'm absolutely exhausted before I go to bed so that when my head touches the pillow, I'm not left wishing and praying he'd be there next to me when I wake up. As soon as I awake, I'm outta bed before I can blink. I just cannot stand it ...I don't sleep all night. I normally, on a good night, wake up anywhere from 3-4 times. Some nights I just don't sleep.

It's not all been bad. Truly it hasn't. But I still can't help but feel as though he took a huge piece of me with him when he left. I'll only feel whole again when he's back home where he belongs.

All the kids are doing well. My two keep me on my toes and going all the time. I continually check on the younger ones up with their mom. I was very blessed and fortunate to have them with me for two weeks this summer. While I enjoyed having them home with me, it sort of made me sad. I felt like I had a small piece of him with me but having them there made me miss him even more. It's hard to explain.

This much I do know...deployments sucks ass. But life goes on. It has to.

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