I am going to tell you a story. It is a story of love, surrender and peace. There is a hero in the end. But there usually is, right? Right.
Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us.
I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. I was afraid that if I did, I'd scare him away. I decided I'd take a leap of faith and see where it got me. I mustered up all the courage I had and I confessed my feelings for him. He was quiet at first, taking it all in. I knew he wasn't ready. My heart told me so. I gently told him I had no expectations, I was not going to force him to say it back if he wasn't ready or if he didn't even feel that way. But I opened myself up and let it all out. I felt he needed to know.
As Matthew and I were dating, he confessed to me early on that he didn't believe in God. He was a self-proclaimed atheist. I did not judge him. I loved him just as he was, whether he believed or not. From that moment on, I asked one prayer. My prayer was the God would use me to bring Matthew to Him and that one day, he would have restored faith and believe in God. I wanted to live my life in such a manner as to portray the love God had shown me all of my life. That was my prayer for the last four years. Several of my friends were cautious; they had concerns. I may not always be an outspoken believer, but most anyone who knows me, knew I believed in God, went to church and raised my children up the same way. So I know it came as a surprise to most when I married a man and vowed to spend my life with someone who did not have the same beliefs as me. But again, if you know me, you know I don't judge. I have faith in my God. I knew that one day, He would answer my heartfelt prayers.
Fast forward to now. A few months ago, The History Channel featured a mini series called "The Bible". I didn't have much desire to watch it when it first came out. No particular reason. I have read the bible all of my life and knew what it was about. They replayed it and Matthew decided he wanted to watch. I was shocked to say the least but I kept it to myself. I wish you could have witnessed what I had seen. The excited, the joy; he was really getting into it. Maybe it was the way it was portrayed in the mini series but he just became engrossed. Not long after, he decided he wanted to start reading the Bible. Whoa. This was huge, even for me. But still, I kept my thoughts to myself and felt it was best just to encourage him.
While something was stirring inside of him, something was stirring up in me too. I began praying fervently. God had something big planned; I could feel it. I wasn't sure what but I just prayed and encouraged. When Matthew asked questions, I did my best to answer them and if I couldn't, I did my best to find them. As excited as I was, I was scared of pushing too hard. I know in the past, I have never big a fan of people forcing religion on me. I cannot stand it. I firmly believe that being a follower of Christ comes when your spirit is ready. Don't preach at me unless I willingly submit to it. I knew he was the same way and so I was careful never to push too hard. The control freak in my didn't listen well. I began pushing. I got way too excited. I was looking for books, trying to make sure I had all the answers when needed. But then I began to realize I didn't have all the answers and if I did not get myself under control, I would push him away and he might not come back. I decided then to back off.
For a few weeks, each night before bed, Matt would lie in bed and read from the bible. If he had a question, I'd answer as best as I could and that was it. I was beginning to get restless and God was putting something on my heart that needed to be addressed. Church. I wanted so badly to go. I have for awhile. I needed to be around people I could share and love with. People I could relate to. I knew where I wanted to be and I knew God wanted me there too. I took another big leap and asked Matt if we could start going to church. It took a little convincing but he finally agreed. YEEHAW!! This was it. I knew once he got through those doors, his life was going to change!! You have no idea how right I was.
Pastor Phil...I met him a few years ago when I started going to Grace Life. I knew from the moment I met him, he was going to change lives through God. I knew about his past and to see where he'd come from, I just knew...he was going to change my life. I had no idea how much he was going to until now. The first Sunday Matt and I went to Grace Life together made my heart soar like you wouldn't believe. To see him interacting and getting excited. Oh it filled my heart with so much love and joy!!! I felt peace. I could see the change in my husband. I could see God was slowing making his way into my husband's heart and all I could do was cry with joy. I have cried and cried with love and gratitude. You just would not believe it!
So here we are at this week. Lots going on, life has been a whirlwind. Tuesday evening, on my way home from work, I was upset with the kids about some things that had taken place with school. I called Matt and unloaded on him about it. As I was unloading, I was getting aggravated and I took it out on him. I finally ended the phone call and told him we'd talk when he got home. Once I got home, I began to feel convicted. I knew I was wrong. I had no right taking my frustrations out on my husband. I knew that and I felt horrible for that. As I was cooking dinner, I had made up in my mind that I was going to make things right when he got home. The moment he walked in the door, I made a bee line to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him breathless. I gave him a big hug and apologized for being such a jerk to him. I confessed that I was wrong for being ugly. I noticed that his face began to turn bright red and he laid his head down on my shoulder. He said "I believe I am ready to be baptized." What the WHAT? Where did THAT come from? I kinda just stood there in shock. His face was still beet red and you could tell he was feeling a bit emotional. He wrapped his arms around me, hugged me tight and I asked him when did he come to that decision and why? He said he could tell me right then but he would share with me after dinner. Hang on...this is gonna get good...
So after dinner, we are all sitting at the table, goofing off and talking. Matt begins to confess about his outburst. He said after he had gotten off the phone, he was packing up and getting ready to leave. He got in the jeep and started to pray out loud. He didn't want to come home, arguing and fussing and he was seeking God's help.So imagine his surprise when he came home and the first thing I did was kiss and hug him and apologize? HELLO!! Can you say answered prayers?! As I sat there at the table listening to him, tears just streamed down my face. Do you know how incredibly amazing it is to witness this? I mean seriously. I am just in awe. He told us that when I responded as I did when he came home, he KNEW God had answered his prayers. So at that moment, he decided he was ready to take the next step in his journey. I could not be more thrilled for him.
Thursday was our fourth wedding anniversary. We decided to keep it simple this year, especially with all we've had going on. We decided to go out to dinner after work. So I was home, sitting on the recliner, waiting for Matt to get home. When he got there, he walked up behind my recliner and slipped a necklace around my neck. OMG. I have to tell you this before I go any further. Matt has never been able to surprise me with a gift since we met. I handle all the finances in the house; paying all the bills etc. So imagine my SHOCK when he slips this necklace around me and I had NO CLUE. I almost jumped out of my chair! It was gorgeous. A silver cross with diamonds. Of course, there was a card with it. As soon as I read it, I began to cry. His message was sweet and simple but held so much love and faith.
He said, " I know how you feel about material things. You never ask. But I wanted to show how much I truly appreciate you. Just like this card says. I love you with all my heart and thank you for being not only my wife but my best friend. Read Mark 2:1-11. You are like four men. You helped me see Jesus. For that, I shall always be in debt to you. "
For those who are looking that up as we speak, allow me to explain. Four men took a man with leprosy to Jesus for healing. But when they got there, the place was full and there was no way to get in and get to Jesus. So they cut a hole in the roof and lower the man down to Jesus. Jesus healed him. Matt was comparing me to the men who took the man to be saved by Jesus. Most of us would not think about something like that...so simple, yet so deep and truthful. How humbling for me. God answered my prayers. Over time, God changed my husband's heart and I have been witness to that. It has been incredible. I did not force this. I did not push him. He made this choice all on his own. I never shamed him for not believing. Never not once. I surrendered my husband to God four years ago, with my soul believing that one day, he would find his way. He did. My soul feels more peace and love than I've felt in my entire life. Miracles happen every day. I have seen then.
No one will ever have a love story like ours.
(PS-I asked Matthew's permission to write this.)
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Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us.
I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. I was afraid that if I did, I'd scare him away. I decided I'd take a leap of faith and see where it got me. I mustered up all the courage I had and I confessed my feelings for him. He was quiet at first, taking it all in. I knew he wasn't ready. My heart told me so. I gently told him I had no expectations, I was not going to force him to say it back if he wasn't ready or if he didn't even feel that way. But I opened myself up and let it all out. I felt he needed to know.
As Matthew and I were dating, he confessed to me early on that he didn't believe in God. He was a self-proclaimed atheist. I did not judge him. I loved him just as he was, whether he believed or not. From that moment on, I asked one prayer. My prayer was the God would use me to bring Matthew to Him and that one day, he would have restored faith and believe in God. I wanted to live my life in such a manner as to portray the love God had shown me all of my life. That was my prayer for the last four years. Several of my friends were cautious; they had concerns. I may not always be an outspoken believer, but most anyone who knows me, knew I believed in God, went to church and raised my children up the same way. So I know it came as a surprise to most when I married a man and vowed to spend my life with someone who did not have the same beliefs as me. But again, if you know me, you know I don't judge. I have faith in my God. I knew that one day, He would answer my heartfelt prayers.
Fast forward to now. A few months ago, The History Channel featured a mini series called "The Bible". I didn't have much desire to watch it when it first came out. No particular reason. I have read the bible all of my life and knew what it was about. They replayed it and Matthew decided he wanted to watch. I was shocked to say the least but I kept it to myself. I wish you could have witnessed what I had seen. The excited, the joy; he was really getting into it. Maybe it was the way it was portrayed in the mini series but he just became engrossed. Not long after, he decided he wanted to start reading the Bible. Whoa. This was huge, even for me. But still, I kept my thoughts to myself and felt it was best just to encourage him.
While something was stirring inside of him, something was stirring up in me too. I began praying fervently. God had something big planned; I could feel it. I wasn't sure what but I just prayed and encouraged. When Matthew asked questions, I did my best to answer them and if I couldn't, I did my best to find them. As excited as I was, I was scared of pushing too hard. I know in the past, I have never big a fan of people forcing religion on me. I cannot stand it. I firmly believe that being a follower of Christ comes when your spirit is ready. Don't preach at me unless I willingly submit to it. I knew he was the same way and so I was careful never to push too hard. The control freak in my didn't listen well. I began pushing. I got way too excited. I was looking for books, trying to make sure I had all the answers when needed. But then I began to realize I didn't have all the answers and if I did not get myself under control, I would push him away and he might not come back. I decided then to back off.
For a few weeks, each night before bed, Matt would lie in bed and read from the bible. If he had a question, I'd answer as best as I could and that was it. I was beginning to get restless and God was putting something on my heart that needed to be addressed. Church. I wanted so badly to go. I have for awhile. I needed to be around people I could share and love with. People I could relate to. I knew where I wanted to be and I knew God wanted me there too. I took another big leap and asked Matt if we could start going to church. It took a little convincing but he finally agreed. YEEHAW!! This was it. I knew once he got through those doors, his life was going to change!! You have no idea how right I was.
Pastor Phil...I met him a few years ago when I started going to Grace Life. I knew from the moment I met him, he was going to change lives through God. I knew about his past and to see where he'd come from, I just knew...he was going to change my life. I had no idea how much he was going to until now. The first Sunday Matt and I went to Grace Life together made my heart soar like you wouldn't believe. To see him interacting and getting excited. Oh it filled my heart with so much love and joy!!! I felt peace. I could see the change in my husband. I could see God was slowing making his way into my husband's heart and all I could do was cry with joy. I have cried and cried with love and gratitude. You just would not believe it!
So here we are at this week. Lots going on, life has been a whirlwind. Tuesday evening, on my way home from work, I was upset with the kids about some things that had taken place with school. I called Matt and unloaded on him about it. As I was unloading, I was getting aggravated and I took it out on him. I finally ended the phone call and told him we'd talk when he got home. Once I got home, I began to feel convicted. I knew I was wrong. I had no right taking my frustrations out on my husband. I knew that and I felt horrible for that. As I was cooking dinner, I had made up in my mind that I was going to make things right when he got home. The moment he walked in the door, I made a bee line to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him breathless. I gave him a big hug and apologized for being such a jerk to him. I confessed that I was wrong for being ugly. I noticed that his face began to turn bright red and he laid his head down on my shoulder. He said "I believe I am ready to be baptized." What the WHAT? Where did THAT come from? I kinda just stood there in shock. His face was still beet red and you could tell he was feeling a bit emotional. He wrapped his arms around me, hugged me tight and I asked him when did he come to that decision and why? He said he could tell me right then but he would share with me after dinner. Hang on...this is gonna get good...
So after dinner, we are all sitting at the table, goofing off and talking. Matt begins to confess about his outburst. He said after he had gotten off the phone, he was packing up and getting ready to leave. He got in the jeep and started to pray out loud. He didn't want to come home, arguing and fussing and he was seeking God's help.So imagine his surprise when he came home and the first thing I did was kiss and hug him and apologize? HELLO!! Can you say answered prayers?! As I sat there at the table listening to him, tears just streamed down my face. Do you know how incredibly amazing it is to witness this? I mean seriously. I am just in awe. He told us that when I responded as I did when he came home, he KNEW God had answered his prayers. So at that moment, he decided he was ready to take the next step in his journey. I could not be more thrilled for him.
Thursday was our fourth wedding anniversary. We decided to keep it simple this year, especially with all we've had going on. We decided to go out to dinner after work. So I was home, sitting on the recliner, waiting for Matt to get home. When he got there, he walked up behind my recliner and slipped a necklace around my neck. OMG. I have to tell you this before I go any further. Matt has never been able to surprise me with a gift since we met. I handle all the finances in the house; paying all the bills etc. So imagine my SHOCK when he slips this necklace around me and I had NO CLUE. I almost jumped out of my chair! It was gorgeous. A silver cross with diamonds. Of course, there was a card with it. As soon as I read it, I began to cry. His message was sweet and simple but held so much love and faith.
He said, " I know how you feel about material things. You never ask. But I wanted to show how much I truly appreciate you. Just like this card says. I love you with all my heart and thank you for being not only my wife but my best friend. Read Mark 2:1-11. You are like four men. You helped me see Jesus. For that, I shall always be in debt to you. "
For those who are looking that up as we speak, allow me to explain. Four men took a man with leprosy to Jesus for healing. But when they got there, the place was full and there was no way to get in and get to Jesus. So they cut a hole in the roof and lower the man down to Jesus. Jesus healed him. Matt was comparing me to the men who took the man to be saved by Jesus. Most of us would not think about something like that...so simple, yet so deep and truthful. How humbling for me. God answered my prayers. Over time, God changed my husband's heart and I have been witness to that. It has been incredible. I did not force this. I did not push him. He made this choice all on his own. I never shamed him for not believing. Never not once. I surrendered my husband to God four years ago, with my soul believing that one day, he would find his way. He did. My soul feels more peace and love than I've felt in my entire life. Miracles happen every day. I have seen then.
No one will ever have a love story like ours.
(PS-I asked Matthew's permission to write this.)
My wife and I are truly at a loss for words. There are no greater words than Hallelujah. From my experience to yours, God can and now will truly Bless your family. May you all forever find comfort, peace, and joy knowing that He is Blessing you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Goodness. Amazing! :')
ReplyDelete