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starting a new chapter

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By now, we all know how emotional I am. It’s nothing new.

Lately, it has been more than usually. I get pretty weepy these days. I’m not even counting down days. I refuse.

Nate will be 18 on Friday. 18. I have been his mother for 18 beautifully chaotic years. Beautiful chaos… It is all I could come up with to sum it up. It has been a privilege to watch this gorgeous child grow into an amazing young man.

He has the most beautiful heart, next to his sister. I once said he had the heart of a servant. I still see that in him. He guards his heart fiercely. He loves God. He loves his family. He loves life. He has this contagious smile and he laughs from his belly. The best parts of me I see mixed and mingled into his personality. He still hugs and kisses his mom; even in public. I love that most. This morning, I kept thinking, “I’m going to miss his hugs most.” Those hugs he gives for no other reason than to simply say “I love you”.

In a few short weeks, he is going to graduate from high school and not long after, leave for basic training. He has dreams and he is determined to fulfil them.

There isn’t much I knew at age 17, but I knew he was going to move on to do great things in his life. I never doubted it for a moment. He would just need someone to push him and believe in him, no matter what he chose to do in life. God gave me this phenomenal gift of being his mother and I did my best not to mess that up. He trusted me with this life in my hands. I pray daily that I have done him justice in raising this bright, intelligent, loving young man.

I worry more for me than I do for him. He’ll never really know the impact he’s had on my life; how much he’s changed me into the woman and mother I am today. I send him into the world with confidence knowing he will succeed. I joked with Matt the other day. I said I’d tell Nate “Congrats, you survived 18 years of your mom.” Lol Seriously, if you can survive living with me, I’m quite confident you can survive whatever the world has to offer.

I truly believe God brought Matt into our lives at the perfect time. Nate was beginning to grow into the man he would become and Matt’s influences have had a tremendous effect on him. I have seen this with my eyes and with my heart. I could not have asked for a better role model in his life, during the most important years of his adolescence. I will always be grateful for the impact he’s made on our son.  


It is a new chapter in our journey, for him and for me. He’s the first to leave the nest and he’ll take a piece of me with him when he goes. 

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