My alarm went off at 5:05am as usual on a work day. Usually
I am foggy eyed trying to wake up and move about, but not this morning.
Something was different about this morning. I turned off my alarm and laid there for a
bit, taking in the peace moving through the house. My kitty was lying next to me,
purring softly as she began waking up as well. She snuggled with me for a bit,
stretching and purring. She’s usually up with me and does her morning routine
of moving about the house with me while I get coffee and feed her. She pounces a couple laps through the house
while I am getting ready, letting me know she’s well rested and ready for the
day. It is usually the only time she’s not bothered by the dog and can roam
freely without being followed.
I got ready for work as usual but my ride to work was
different this morning. As I stepped out on my front porch, the weather and
sunshine took me to a good place. On my drive, I spent a lot of time reflecting
on motherhood and all the goodness in my life when it came to my kids. Even in
the chaos of my life, I find so much peace in my children. Most people probably
wouldn’t say that when it comes to kids!
Over the weekend, McKenzie received a letter from Nate. They
have been writing back and forth to each other since he left. I cannot begin to
tell you how much that makes my heart happy. When McKenzie read her letter, she
began to tear up. I know she misses him terribly. As I hugged her, I reminded
her of something. I asked her if she remembered all those times that I told her
to be kind to her brother and that one day, he was going to be the most
important person in her life. She nodded and began to cry some more. I smiled
and said, “This is why”. I sat down and she handed me the letter and said I
could read it. As I read down the page, my heart filled with unspeakable joy
and happiness. Eighteen years flashed before my eyes. His kind words of love,
peace and encouragement spread across the page and I was completely in awe.
This is my son; my son who is beginning his adult life, who is training to be a
defender of his country. He’s sharing words of love and encouragement to his
sister as she begins her journey into high school. He’s uplifting her to be her
best. How incredibly selfless, endearing and kind he is. I knew...but I didn’t
know. It rocked my soul to see this in his words.
I reflected on this on my way to work this morning and
before I knew it, I was sobbing down the road. Thank goodness I wasn’t wearing makeup.
SOBBING; it was tears of joy and peace. It was knowing that although I am not a
perfect mother, I did something right in my son’s life. It was knowing that
every single tear, sleepless night, frustration and anguish was worth it to see
his heart. It was knowing and believing
that God was with me every single step of this journey and He was showing me
how faithful He was to my son and my prayers. Not all parents see this early
on in their kid’s lives. Sometimes they are 25, maybe even 45 before you see
the fruits of your labor.
My message is this: Mommas, do not fret. Being a mom is the
hardest job there is. It truly is. So much is expected of us when we raise
little people to be kind, compassionate individuals of this world. Being a mom
is also the most rewarding and honorable calling in your life. You have been
trust with the life of another human being. That is an honor. Whether you lead by
faith or by knowledge, know that you are fully equipped for this calling. You
will see all your dedication and love come to fruition that I can promise. It
might not happen today or even in ten years, but you will.
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