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rough week

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I chose to go through this deployment. I knew about it before I'd met Matt. I chose to love him completely and unconditionally, knowing that he'd have to leave me and our family behind. I try daily to stay positive but some days, it's a real struggle. One thing I do know is that this deployment has only made us stronger in many ways. We've always had great communication and it's gotten even better. We take absolutely nothing for granted. Every single second I get to hear his voice is priceless to me.

I can't wait for my husband to come home but I will wait and be even stronger for it. I have found strength beyond what I knew existed in me. I've also found out who truly supports me through difficult times. Many people before this deployment were quick to say, "I'll be there" and later, when put to the test, came to fail.

The most difficult moments for me, are ones people take for granted in their day to day lives. Cooking for him, doing his laundry, even making his coffee in the mornings. Most spouses complain about it. I miss these things more than you could imagine. Day to day activities are a struggle-going to football games on Friday and thinking, "he would love to be here".

Thanks to my incredibly kids, I am surviving. I always thought I'd have to be so strong for them but it's amazing what your kids will do for you. I cherish the strong relationship I have with them and how well we know each other. They always know when something is wrong; they sense it.

I know that it's going to be ok and I know he'll be home soon. It's the same exact thing I hear over and over again. I just need to know how to deal with the difficult moments. The moments where I can't wash his clothes or can't cook him dinner.

"A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart." ~Author Unknown
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