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New Year

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I wish I could say "happy" new year but I'm not sure how happy it's going to be.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy! Joyful! How could I not be?! I've been blessed beyond measure! I'm getting married to my soulmate next month!! I have four amazing kids in my life. What could possibly be any better??

I have a sadness lingering and it's hard to shake. Matt will be leaving in April for Iraq for a year. That's a hard, bitter pill to swallow. It's hard to imagine him not being here with me...
For the most part, I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have enough to keep me busy between work, school, sending care packages and what not. But since I've been with him, I've learned two things. Matt travels a lot with his career. It's part of being a soldier. The day he leaves is always the hardest and the nights he's not there are even harder. Going to bed alone sucks...not to get too personal; but I used to be a girl who couldn't be touched when I went to sleep at night. Now, I go to bed wrapped up in his arms every single night. In fact, I won't go to sleep unless I have some kind of contact with him. I'm not sure how this is going to work.

He leaves this Friday for three weeks. In a way, I want them to pass quickly but part of me wants these next four months to pass slowly. I want to enjoy every single moment he's here. I have three short months left before he's gone...and then what?

I know this is hard for him too. Being away from family and friends...and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that he's missed and loved. Lotsa prayers for a safe return and I know that God will bring him back to me. I know this and I believe it with all of my heart. He's been deployed before and I'm sure it never gets easier. If I had to put myself in his shoes...I think it would be just as hard, not seeing those you love for a whole year. Gosh...it makes me feel guilty for being so selfish.

Pray for him and those in his unit. Pray for me too.

Happy New Year

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