Skip to main content

Who knew?!

No do-overs in life. Time to release and let go of the past forever and move on with a clean slate. Free. New. Better than ever and knowing in my soul that THIS path, right here, right now, is exactly where God wants me to be. I live it; I breathe it, I HAVE FAITH in it.

I have forgiven myself, God has forgiven me and I have forgiven those that have wronged me. It was hard, it was scary but I did it and I have NO REGRETS in life. None. There were things I wanted to hold onto but when I think about it now-why? Why hold onto the things that hurt us? I don’t understand why people do it and I still don’t know why I did it but I know I AM FREE. I can take this final step into my life and know, with a doubt, I’m right where God meant for me to be. HE answered my prayers, he delivered me and HE LOVES ME.

I remember nights I’d cry myself to sleep or hide in a closet, wishing I could run from the world; run from life. Praying…oh how I prayed. I’ve dropped to my knees in tears crying out to God to FIX THIS- FIX ME. And now…as I look back at the last year and all that has transpired. It’s mind-boggling to say the least. I have more than I prayed for and the blessings just doesn’t stop coming. Yes, I had moments of doubt and fear but then I realized…I cannot control anything! Only GOD can! It’s a hard pill to swallow for a control freak like myself but it’s true. LET GO AND LET GOD. It works!! I’m living proof of that. Only a handful really know, I mean REALLY know what took place in my past. I know how far I’ve come-how much I’ve grown and changed. My heart soars with joy.

I have new people in my life who love me and encourage me and these are the people I need, want, desire…Positive, uplifting, drama free!

I’ve never been more excited than I am right at this moment, sitting here-all the possibilities before me and this fantastic man that I get to share it with. I have hope like never before, I foresee something great, wonderful, amazing and breathtaking and there is no one else in this world I’d rather share it with. Him and our four children…I cannot conceive!

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"--1 Corinthians 2:9

I could shout this verse from the rooftop! It is TRUE!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

every day

Sitting in the parking lot of Hardee's today, I turned my radio off and just looked around. I watched the numerous cars as they passed by. I watched clouds roll in from the rain. I just stared off, thinking about this place that I call home. It has been my home for the better part of 20 years. It brings me comfort and peace. I feel safe here. Growing up as a military kid, I never knew what home was. I hold on to that sense of safety and security but not naive to the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. Violence can be seen in the news daily; so much so that I grow tired of watching. It's depressing. This morning was no different. Senseless killing of innocent people has been happening in our world for generations. Why is it only recently that more and more people take notice? Because it's hitting way too close to home and people are beginning to realize that life is precious and cannot be taken for granted. Sadly, most people figure that out when it's too late...

a real love story

I am going to tell you a story. It is a story of love, surrender and peace. There is a hero in the end. But there usually is, right? Right. Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend. I wasn't looking for love at all. Just a companion, a friend, someone to share with. After 13 years in hell, who really wants to look for love again? Not this girl. So this guy, he was pretty nice. A gentleman. You don't come across too many these days. We became friends, talking every day, having lunch and what not. As the days passed, I found myself falling in love. I was scared. Neither of us wanted to get married again and we certainly weren't looking for anything long term. But as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes, God has better plans for us. I remember the day I told him I was in love with him. It is still fresh in my mind. It was night time and we were standing on the front porch having a cigarette. I debated on whether I should tell him or not. ...

my greatest accomplishment

If I ever become a statistic, the odds will always be in my favor. I’m a stubborn girl. I always have been and always will be. I buck the system every chance I get because I have always wanted to be outside of the norm. Normal is overrated. I am the odd ball, the loner and the awkward one. I’m perfectly okay with that. I’ve always had big dreams for my little boy but most importantly, I just wanted him to succeed at life. I prayed for him from the day he was born that he would become great and wonderful and every single moment that passes with him, my prayers have been answered. You probably think I boast and brag on him too much. So what? What mother isn’t prideful of her children? But you have to understand the journey. Me and that kid have been through so much together. He saved my life. Most of you know my story. I left home at the end of my junior year in high school, three months later, I got knocked up and I lived with a friend until three months after Nathaniel wa...