Skip to main content

children don't ask to be brought into this world

By
You can't imagine the overwhelming amount of emotions that have surfaced over the last two months. I've felt things I cannot even describe. But above all-Love. This overbearing, protective, fight-for-what-is-yours kinda love. No, they aren't "mine" biologically. But in every other sense of the word, they are mine.

I'll be honest; I had a lot of doubts about this whole custody thing. At first I just didn't think it was a good idea. For my own selfish reasons, I knew it would turn my life upside down. Some times change is difficult for me. Knowing that these two babies were coming from a different world of parenting was, by far the most difficult challenge. They only knew one way of life. Getting them accustom to a new lifestyle was huge, even for me. But if you've ever been in the same room with these kids for more than five minutes...How could you not fight for them?! How could you not want to give them everything life has to offer? Because they deserve that and they are worthy of that kind of life.

"Children don't ask to be brought into this world"...the irony behind this phrase is that these words came from my own mother. She is the very reason I fight with every tear and every sleepless night. I never want my kids to know what it feels like to be unloved and unwanted. I hope they never know that feeling...wondering what you did wrong all your life to be hated so much, constantly questioning and doubt yourself. I hope and pray that they wake up every single morning knowing they are cherished and loved and wanted and above all-needed. Yes, I need them too. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without them. I pray every day that I never have to find out.

There is more to raising kids than just saying "I love you". You have to nurture them, teach them right from wrong; they need disciple, they need guidance, they need life lessons. They need stability. They crave attention and acceptance. And these are just the basics. There is so much more.

I have been blessed with the privilege to help them blossom and discover who they are. To find their place in this world, not just in our family or in our home. I love and cherish every single moment of it. The good and the bad and the ugly.

I believe with every fiber of my being that this is where they belong. I won't stop believing that, no matter what. Everything happens for a reason; we don't always know what that reason is and sometimes we don't always understand it. But know this-someone needs to stand up for those babies. Someone needs to be their voice and it needs to be heard loud and clear. If no one else in this world is courageous enough to do it, trust me-I will. This isn't about me or their dad or anyone else but those kids. If the right decision isn't made then those kids are the ones who lose in the end.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

changes are coming

By
Four years ago, Trevor and Savanna came to live with us, to start a new life. One that we’d hoped would be fruitful and blessed. Our lives changed in every aspect over that four year period. We all grew in different ways. Some for the best and some, not so much. But overall, it was for the betterment of both of them and we saw great improvements over those four years. Last year, one simple mistake changed everything. July of last year during summer football camp, Trevor got caught with a pocket knife. He didn’t think anything of it because he always carries it, just like any other young man in Alabama. He didn’t think about it being a school function and honestly, who would? He had no intentions of harming anyone at all. Mind you, Trevor had come so very far in four years. He was making straight A’s, taking Honors classes, playing football and well on his way to making huge changes for his future. We could not have been more proud. The Autauga County School Board decided they need
Post a Comment
Read more

life will go on...eventually

By
     I genuinely believed after having this major surgery, my quality of life would greatly improve. Don’t get me wrong-the surgery did relieve me of my headaches and for that, I am truly grateful. But it seems to have brought on another set of problems that I wasn’t prepared for. It has been frustrating, discouraging and most of all, very painful. My numerous doctors seem to believe that the surgery exacerbated a problem I began having before the surgery-arthritis in my hands. Now, it’s throughout my entire body and some days, it is hard to get out of bed, much less walk. It takes more strength than I knew I had. Pain meds and arthritis meds don’t seem to help much and some days are far worse than other. But I keep going, regardless because I have to. I pray daily for healing but I find myself asking why…why after going through such a traumatic event in my life, believing I was going to move onto something better, does this have to happen now? What am I supposed to be learning for th
Post a Comment
Read more

tears

By
I'm an emotional kinda gal. I wear my heart on my sleeve. As tough as I try to be, I have more compassion than you could possibly imagine. I guess that's one of the many reasons I've wanted to become a nurse. So here it is, not even noon and I've probably cried or teared up at least 3-4 times. Why? I was listening to my iPod on the way home from picking up my kids from camp and a song came on that immediately sent my thoughts to Matt. I thought back to the first night we met and like a cheshire cat, my whole face lit up. My heart swelled until I thought it would burst in my chest, I got the warm fuzzies and then I started to cry. Not just tear up but CRY. Yeah. I'm a cry baby. It's the feeling that moves you to the most beautiful tears. Knowing that someone loves you more than themselves. That's hard to find. He can walk in a room and my whole world will stand still. That look he gives me ...butterflies, have mercy. When he wraps his arms around me, I
Post a Comment
Read more