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rants of a lost girl

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I have never been a fan of group workouts. What I mean by that is, activities such as aerobics, boot camps, crossfit or even yoga. I cannot stand to be in an environment that draws attention to me. It throws my anxiety into overdrive. Here is an example of why:

Over two years ago, I decided I would give Fitness Boot Camp a try. A friend told me about it and invited me to come. I had been running already and needed an extra boost to kick my weight loss into gear. I decided to try and overcome my fear and go along. So I did. Just so happened, I knew the guy who was running it, Chris. We went to college together. So I thought, "okay, I can do this". By the time I left that night, I was discouraged, disappointed and in a lot of pain. I cried the entire way home. Why? Because the ONLY person who pushed me and encouraged me was Chris. Everyone else looked at me like I was a leper. I can only imagine what they were thinking. "She's too slow." "What in the hell is that girl doing here? She's too big." Probably worse. I was the biggest person in there but no body was trying as hard as I was. It took A LOT for me to even work up the nerve to show up. It was pretty scary. I left feeling defeated and heartbroken. I haven't been back since.

The other problem with these programs is they are EXPENSIVE. I don't understand that. We are the fattest country in the nation. Not only are we lazy but we make it almost impossible to afford health. Yes. HEALTH is expensive. Crossfit is $100 a month. Where do I get that from? I have six mouths to feed! Everyone is all "go organic", don't eat this, don't drink that. I don't understand the theory behind the cost. Screw paleo. I bet your grocery bill is 3 times higher than mine is and I don't even buy processed foods. You want people to be healthy and what not-what not make it affordable so it can be possible and enjoyable? There are a lot of things I would love to try! I wanted to try kickboxing but heck I couldn't even get the lady to call me back, let alone get me a price. Yeah, I know-walking is free, running is free. But it is also boring after so long and you begin to lose interest if you don't add something in the mix; change things up a bit. Trust me, I know.

Temptation is on every eff'n corner. Don't believe me? How many cupcakes shops have opened in Prattville just in the last year? Four. FOUR. WHY?? It is the newest craving sensation. No one wants an entire cake so a cupcake will do in a fix. It's expensive and fattening. Trust me, I KNOW. I can't afford it anymore! (Btw-Gigi's is just nasty, IMO) I have the most horrible sweet tooth you could imagine. I ate something sweet everyday until I forced myself to stop. It is hard, people.

Excuses. But sadly, the truth.

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